I checked out some of your past writings. You seem like you are a very giving, caring, and encouraging person. You have connected with a lot of people in this dbing community.
Sometimes, when I read about why people are here, it makes me sad. It shouldn't be. It seems crazy that this world has accepted 'd' and 'broken vows'. People shrug their shoulders, as if to say, 'oh well, he/she doesn't feel like it any more'.
I even had a friend (or whatever she is) say to me, 'you meant one thing in your vows and he meant something else when he said his vows. why can't you accept that?' I looked at her with astonishment ...'huh?'
I believe very strongly that 'Love' is an action word--it's a behavior. 'Love' is not a feeling. It's what we 'do'. People who believe that they have the need to decide things based on their changing 'feelings' will choose a very chaotic and unstable life. I want to line them all up and tell them 'shame on you' and give them a good slap!
Anyway ... on that happy note ... there isn't any excuse for your husband. His only excuse is like the rest of us--our sin nature. He's in a stupid place right now and probably not himself...and he's making stupid decisions because he allowed temptation to knock on his door, and he opened it. I'm jumping to conclusions. I really don't have all the facts, but when there is someone else involved, they opened the door.
God loves marriage and hates divorce. God wants to bless marriage. Staying married is God's will. I could go on forever about that. Don't give up and pray for your husband to wake up and fall in line with what God's will is. I will pray, too. Meanwhile, you sound like you are doing well at finding out what the best 'you' is. That's one of my goals. Don't let your H's kookiness ruin what you have to offer. Your 'acting as if' sounds awesome. 'Act as if', 'believe and feel' that all is going to turn around in a way that will best suit you and your H.
I can't wait until the time when he realizes what a kook he has been and he sees you. In the meantime, get ready for those moments. Envision the end result and believe in it. We don't know how it will happen...that's not our job...we just know that it will!
