I have not yet sent my e-mail reply to H since I am awaiting an answer to some business matter. I don't want to send it before I receive H's reply. Sometimes he seems to check his e-mails only every second day.
We had quite a pleasant though cold day today. The sun was shining inbetween the coulds and I went for a nice walk over lunch time. Tomorrow evening I will go to a Jazz concert with a GF, and I hope it will not start to snow again.
This morning when I woke up everything was covered in snow but by lunch time most of it disappeared again because of the sunshine. The days are noticeably getting longer and sunset is around 5 pm now.
It is still so difficult for me to know that H is with somebody else. I still miss the old H and him being so loving and funny. But as you said I need to stop being sad and hold my head up high.
This week-end I will probably meet another guy I got to know on the Internet. I still cannot imagine ever having a R again but I would like to have a male friend. He seems to have quite a good sense of humour and who knows, he might be nice as well.
The other guy I met last week-end didn't contacted me again so far, but I don't really mind. I wouldn't miss him!!!! The problem is and always was that I compare everybody to my H. I know I need to give that up but it is just so difficult.
I also still feel H and I were a perfect match. Years ago when a friend once asked me how my H compared to others I said he is a 99% perfect H. My H was so surprised to hear that because I never told him and often nagged him about something.
Do you think I am courageous to meet new guys? I never looked at it that way. All I know is that I have to be very careful because you never know what you let yourself in for. I noticed that some guys say some very suspicious things.
Anyway, a few days ago I wrote to H a firm reply that I did not agree with something he suggested re finances. I also said he should answer my question. He replied that I should not be so uptight about things and read his e-mail again. That he answered my question. Furthermore, he wrote about his financial state and that the women where he is all expect foreigners to just pay for everything but don't care about them no matter how nice they are to them. That his life is in a mess but I would not care and why should I since it was him who left me. He seems to be very unhappy.
I finally sent my e-mail I prepared some days ago and also replied to his e-mail. I had the feeling that he wanted to manipulate me again in doing what he wanted, but I was not fooled.
Unfortunately, my GF got ill and was not able to go to the Jazz concert this evening. I didn't feel like going on my own and called another GF, but she had the same illness last week and did not feel well enough yet to join me. So I stayed at home and watched some TV.
On Sunday I will have my "first date". That's what the guy who I will meet called it. I had to laugh at it. It feels very strange to call it a date! I used to call it a date if I met somebody I liked and/or fancied, but this time I have not even seen the guy before!
True, Enjoy your date...just remember, if it doesn't work, there are more "fish" in the sea.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks for your kind words and encouragement. I have no expectations regarding the guy I will meet.
Today it was snowing quite heavily in the morning and early afternoon. I had to clear the drive again before I could go shopping. Later in the afternoon it stopped snowing. I met a GF at our favorite restaurant for coffee. Afterwards we had a lovely walk on the waterfront.
Sweet dreams True! The beauty sleep actually will help your brain cells function every more brillantly than they already are.
Sorry to hear about your weather, but it sounds like you had everything under control!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
