My H left me in mid 2008 after a few years of coming and going etc etc. Within 4 weeks he had met OW. It has escalated to a point , that H ignores own kids and is oblivious to chaos within his family that his behaviour is causing.
What should I do as an example to my kids and for my own self respect ?
That sounds like my H. Very open about the OW even with the kids. She's always around our kids and he says she's just a friend. He sees the kids when OW's not available, but otherwise, disappears.
The timeline I've read about is 6months to 12 months usually and I've also seen 6 months to 2 years. Of course they are averages so could be less or more than that. I do think it prob. isn't a good start to a R to start with cheating, lying, breaking apart a family or 2. The OW in my case has been married 3 times, so if she marries my H after the D, he will be her 4th husband. I don't see that R as lasting forever!
My advice would be to be there for your kids, the stable rock that is a good role model. So they can look to you for an example. My kids know my H isn't that for them, although they still love him anyway.
I would try to go NC and dark as much as possible. I think that's the best thing to do when they're having an active affair, which is what your H is having. GAL as much as possible, try to do fun stuff for yourself sometimes, and with the kids. Try new activities or lessons, that's really good at taking your mind off. I really like to exercise several times a week, and find myself getting more stressed out and that kind of stuff when I take off a day or 2. Karen
