A, You have to take care of yourself first and foremost. Retirement is a big step...financially, and you must get your ducks in a row w/that coming up. I know it's not easy to have to make the decision as to what to do, but w/your retirement, etc., you really do need to look at the bigger picture here and know that you have protect yourself.
Yes, your h is scared to death of what he will read or hear in your voice about him and the situation. He knows that he's walked away from a good person and family and doesn't know how to fix what went wrong in his mind. Some day, he will contact you and want to talk to you. But first, he really needs to venture forth into his past and grow up. A, you've always been there for him and been the one to take care of things for him. Now, it's time to redirect that focus and take care of yourself.
Happy Valentine's Day!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
