Funny how you think youre ok then something happens and you start to feel sad and depressed again. Took a walk into town-seemed to be couples everywhere looking foreward to their valentines evening. Of course I began to think of him and what he would be doing with ow tonight. He never bothered much with valentines day- I used to get a card but it was just going through the motions.There has been more silence since I e-mailed him that as he had seemed to have moved on and erased nearly 30 years there was no point in my remaining married.He is very frightened I know -he told me that in the Christmas e-mail- too scared and ashamed to contact me or even open my letters because of what he might find.I see my soliciter on Friday. I would continue to wait in limbo but need settlement as retiring soon.I think about him daily (as he wrote he thinks about me every day) and wish so much we could meet just to talk. Have asked him to call me but will not contact him again now.
