When is an affair an affair

[Still Waters]

Hi Pollyana,

As far as I'm concerned, if you're still married, it's an affair. Maybe if you were legally separated and had an agreement to see other people it would be okay. But for him to leave you and start seeing someone with 4 weeks (and chances are he was already seeing her before he left you) then it's an affair.

You should cut off all contact with him. That's tough when you have kids, but you need to set your boundaries. But you need to tell him that as long as he has ANY contact with OW that you don't want to hear from him or see him at all. No emails, no texts, and no calls.

Every day that his affair continues he is disrespecting you and his family. You need to make him aware of that and let him know that you want nothing to do with someone who knowingly continues to do that to you.

Most affairs only last 6 months to a year, but there are exceptions. Since he's being open about it, exposure won't do any good. So the only thing you can do is the last resort of going dark. Detach from him and focus on yourself and your kids.