H has officially filed. Please help me!!!!!

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, MIP.

I'm so sorry you are hurting and going through this. I know that the pain is excruciating! And nothing anyone can say will take it away. Because it is a process we all must go through. We are human, and unfortunately, we don't come with a switch to turn off our emotions.

I could tell you that it will pass......and it's true that it will......but unfortunately that doesn't really help what you are feeling right now, I know. So, I will just tell you that I know how you feel because I have been there (and still go there on occaision).

Try to remember that each day is a new day, and you don't know the future. Spending your time and emotional currency lamenting about the past, or fearing the future, is pointless. When you find yourself doing these things, pull your thoughts back to the present and stay there as best you can. You don't have to live your whole life today!!

Remember that D papers are just papers. They neither truly make nor break the M. That is only done mentally and emotionally between you and your H. Your H may very well not come back. But, then he very well may!! I've read that 17% of divorced couples re-marry the same spouse.

It may be that one day your H will come home and you will suddenly realize that you don't want him anymore......and maybe he'll have to fight to try and win back your love.....and maybe he won't be successful because you will have moved on.

My whole point is that your really don't know the future!! I know that you know all the right answers. That you are not the first and certainly not the last to go through this. You know that you will survive. But, I know that there's a big difference between knowing and believing!! And that difference only comes with time!

So, try to be kind to yourself. Just take one step at a time, and become your own best friend! Learn everything you can about you, and try to find things that you enjoy, and do them. Let yourself feel the pain. I sometimes go into my room and wrap myself up in my "blanky" and hug my teddy bear (his name is Hero) and just cry. It sounds a bit crazy I guess, but it's cathartic.

Take care of yourself, (((((MIP)))))!!!

And if you need to, feel free to e-mail me through the alt.