A Cry for Help & Don't know where to go

[SRTTF]

Guess I need to journal more to keep this in the front. I've been on here but posting to alot of other people. LOL Like I should be giving advise to anyone.....

Money is getting worse. Waiting to hear from the county for help. Daughter is going to C now and doesn't like it. Still nothing from H. Today is V-Day. I have always hated that day because I never felt that I would ever find true love. That was until 6 yrs ago today. My H proposed to me and changed my life forever. I thought there really was true love and I was going to finally have it. Well we all know that was a crock....

When I wake up and before D and I go to the arena for cattle sorting I plan on texting H to say Happy V Day, I miss you and I love you. I know I shouldn't but I really feel in my heart I need to. I can't tell you how much pain I have knowing that he hasn't tried to contact us at all. It just kills me. The pain is so deep I just can't put it into words.

I will put a smile on my face then after the sorting come home and watch NASCAR and try to stay busy and not think about what H is doing. Sometimes I think it is a blessing that he is not in the same town and other times I truely wish he was.

I have asked God to take this pain and heart ache away for both of us and for him to heal all of us. I asked him to please take this and guide us on the path that he has chosen for us. I have asked that he watch over my H and help him realize that he is a good man and that he needs him back in his life. I asked him to let go of the grip satan has on my H.

I wish I could have some sort of a sign. You know like maybe he could just slap me up side the head and say Hey, I've been here and I know what I am doing, this is for both of you and just be patient, things will be better.

Ok now I must me dreaming

Happy V Day to all of you with lots of Love from a friend....