Thursday afternoon my wife came home and had spoken to the lawyer. She explained to me how everything was going to go. She said that she just needed to go into the office and sign the paperwork.
I panicked. While I did not raise my voice, or cry, or anything like that, I did bring up the separation. I told her that I didn't want her to answer me and asked her to think about it even if she was sure of her answer.
She said that she was done. She couldn't do this anymore.
She did say something interesting though. She said that the only time I "step it up" is when she threatens divorce.
She said that she was not comfortable with the separation because she said that she knew that I would just sit there the entire time thinking we would get back together when we weren't. I told her that I would not lie to her, there would definitely be that hope, but this time it was not about separating to work on the relationship, but separating to work on ourselves for the sake of the children. Regardless of her decision I needed to do that. She got real upset and said "Do you think that I want to hurt you? Do you think that I want my family broken up? Do you think that I would have ever gotten married if I knew that I would get a divorce?"
She started to leave to pick up the kids from school. I told her that I was concerned how the kids would react to this. She said the kids will react the way that we react.
She told me she would think about it and we would talk more tomorrow. She said that she would tell me that she was not comfortable with it at all and left.
She called me about an hour later and was like nothing happened.
Today she has not brought it up. It's 12:13 AM, the kids are spending the night at my parents, so she's had the opportunity. The only thing she has done is mention a few things (car payment, health insurance, etc.) in a yours/mine sense. When she signed the kids up for her health care she said "If I were to put you on there, regardless of the situation...I'm just being honest, it would be like $XXX a month." While I get the cost thing (I can get insurance through another source for cheaper), the "regardless of the situation...I'm just being honest" thing that I'm not sure how to take.
I wrote everything down in a note. I was careful not to be emotional, but to lay everything out in a logical way. I have the note upstairs sealed in an envelope, but I did not give it to her. While I know letters, notes, etc. are a no-no, for some reason I get so flustered in this that my train of thought gets derailed and I don't always make sense. I figured this way I could lay everything out without hesitation. I wanted to give it to her tomorrow (SAT) and suggest we wait until at least Sunday before we discuss it.
Any thoughts?
P.S. Thanks for checking up on me. I really appreciate it.
