Wayward Wife/MLC or Just Bad Behavior

[fitzge]

I sure hope everything proves to show them you are what you profess to be.

I have been here 10 years and never missed a day of work. Your going in sentences say it all -- someone makes statements, there is no effort put into determining if they are true or false. I am vigilant.

I have not heard from WW in 4 1/2 months. On 13 Feb, four emails come in. There was an agenda behind each one -- basically telling me what I had to do. I made the mistake of replying to one -- I'll never do that again. It wiped out a couple months of healing and I felt lousey all day. WW changes her mind on settlement issues, adds things to her want list, and sets deadlines for me to accomplish her demands. I sent everything to the attorney. The lawyer can be the go between and earn the money that's been doled out.

I prepare for the worst, hope for the best, and struggle like h*ll.

[kat727]

Gee, the person who hasn't met a single deadline is making demands of you to meet "her" deadlines??? I hate to say it since it really is your decision, but you are going to be better off without her. Way better.

I agree that is best for right now to not respond to her e-mails. It will probably just get her riled up about something else and cause you more grief and pain.

Try to get out and do something with friends this weekend, it will do you a world of good.

kat

[fitzge]

Try to get out and do something with friends this weekend, it will do you a world of good.kat

I have many sisters and one of them said exactly that. I've got several grandchildren nearby. One is a newborn and the parents have not had a real break in 6 weeks. I am going to offer them a couple hours (or whatever it takes) for Saturday so they can go anywhere without 3 stairsteppers in trail.

I am here to tell everyone who posts to this site, DO NOT respond to the waywards. It does NOTHING to help you.

[sandi2]

I have many sisters and one of them said exactly that. I've got several grandchildren nearby. One is a newborn and the parents have not had a real break in 6 weeks. I am going to offer them a couple hours (or whatever it takes) for Saturday so they can go anywhere without 3 stairsteppers in trail.

I think that is how we will celebrate V-day also. I think it is a very generous offer for you to do that and I am sure they will appreciate it very much. Bet it keeps you busy for a while (LOL).

For what it is worth, I am certainly hoping and praying that things on your job will all work out for whatever is best for you. It would have me terribly upset and I don't know how you reframe from blowing a gasket, but I do admire how you have tried to remain professional about it.....even if your bosses haven't.

Take care,
Sandi

[fitzge]

It would have me terribly upset and I don't know how you reframe from blowing a gasket,

Whatever happens at work happens. I have zero control over anyone calling, or over how the bosses respond.

If I am learning one thing as I read and get smarter, it is NO CONTACT with WW is best for me. Responding throws things out of kilter.

[fitzge]

On 23 Dec 08, a Court Order was issued which directed certain actions take place within 30 days. WW has not initated steps on any save one. She managed to start using the money I was ordered to put in her account. Other than that, nada. I was holding off on requesting the attorney prepare and sumit Contempt paperwork. Then I thought, "what the heck. What is WW going to do get mad and leave?" I am already there. So another round of letters between judge and both lawyers.

Phone at house continues to ring off the hook with bill collectors attempting to contact her and arrange for payments. Appears she is not paying a couple substantial bills (in HER name only). I don't bother to answer the phone anymore. I am not her father, and I sure in the h#ll am not much of anything else to her. I do wonder if she is intentionally ruining her credit rating. I'll be luck to afford a postage stamp when this is done.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

What good does it to her to intentionally destroy her own credit rating?

I'm glad you filed the contempt charges (altho I thought that would happen automatically, from the Court itself, since it is the COURT to whom she is not responding technically . .. no?).

Consequences.

Puppy

[fitzge]

What good does it to her to intentionally destroy her own credit rating?

I'm glad you filed the contempt charges (altho I thought that would happen automatically, from the Court itself, since it is the COURT to whom she is not responding technically . .. no?).
Puppy

1. What good to destroy credit?? I think she is setting herself up to declare bankruptcy. Then again, I don't know how she thinks -- wouldn't be here if I did. Again, I find myself over analyzing.

2. Contempt issue: You are correct in that SHE is not responding to the Court's direction. The courts here are knee-deep in cases (metro-area with a few million people). As a result, the courts do not monitor individual cases. It is up to each individual to inform the court if an action is not occuring.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Gotcha; thanks for the clarifications.

[karen43]

My H has been doing the same thing, ran up all the credit card bills including ones we paid off and this started right around when the A started and months before he moved out and we actually had double the bills. His only defense against paying alimony is that he has too many bills to pay.

Her strategy might be that she's not getting enough $$ to pay her bills. Although my ? is since my H put most everything on credit cards, what happened to his sizeable salary then? Should we feel sorry for the person that spent it on meals out and vacation trips with OW??? Or your W who spends the money on whatever instead of bills. Karen