just tried to catch up on your situation...like all others I'm really sorry that you're here but OTOH I'm pleased to make your acquaintance!
"the most important thing is control what you can control. It certainly isn't her, so don't stress it. You can control how you choose to handle this. You can be a great dad, there for your kids, strong, confident, courageous"
this bit of wisdom is good...and IMO this is a nugget of "really good advice"...
you seem to have got to this stage early..which I think is good...I spent nearly a year pleading, begging and thinking that if I just stayed put things would turn round...and do you know what - it just drove my W further and further away from me...
Recently someone has been posting about Steven Stosny and his book Love without Hurt - Bridgestone I think - if you would care to look her up...also there is a poster here called Smartcookie who posted a now "historic" post on the thought processes of a wife who calls it a day - or in her case, nearly called t a day - it is well worth hunting down!
From your thread you have some good people on board...and I'm sure they're giving you lots of support and advice but ... generally I'm a bit anti of folks here actually "telling" or "suggesting" to folks what you should or shouldn't do... only you know what will or won't work out in your situation...and the other danger is that if you take on a suggestion that isn't "authentic" to you, you'll come unstuck!
Early on in my sitch I tried so many contrary approaches i thught I was losing my mind! And this wasn't helpful to me or my W!!! Who was, justifiably(!) able to confirm in her own mind that i had lost the plot!!!
My only bit of advice to you, is to echo that already given above - which I think - to capture it:- is to be the best person and Dad you can be - which does not mean that you are going to be ridden over but have standards and boundaries, to sort yourself out in whatever way that takes, to state your desires to work things out and then sit tight but with honour and dignity.
ppenton - human relationships are funny funny things - in relationships there are two people - each with different needs and desires...its a wonder we come together with a partner at all!!!
ppenton...step back...where are you now - in terms of yourself...what are you doing for you and your kids? I see you have a couple of sons ... are they ok?
And - also keep posting!!! Its a great way of involving yourself in life when you feel that the world is coming to an end! Which by the way - it isn't - but then hey - that's easy for me to say - but let me tell you - the "bomb" for me was 2 years + a week ago and its our Wedding Anniversary today - Valentines Day!!! 11 years!
