You know it's funny, we are told not to snoop and I understand why. But sometimes I think if I have never snooped I would be really naive to a lot and I wouldn't have moved on as much. Everytime I find something out it helps me let go more and more.
Not that I am advocating snooping, especially if you want to save your marriage. Because now I know too much and I don't think I could ever get past what he has done and take him back. So for all those who really want their marriage back one day, take it from me, don't snoop. It just dampens that desire.
This makes total sense to me. I'm not in the OP sitch, but have seen so much about snooping on this site and have thought, hey, if you want to reconcile, then DON"T LOOK....but if you want to find something out to decide whether you want to stay M, or divorce and if you know that an A will mean the end of your M and if you are okay with that, go ahead and get it over with....it's the ones who want all the details and also want to stay M, that I don't get. I mean if h said he had an A and that it was a total nightmare and he always only wanted me and regretted it that second...I GUESS it could help but see, that does not happen. I also would not want to know about a one time drunken event...something h immediately regretted, etc.
I know I could have made a stupid error in the past and at times almost did, but had good gf's around who watched out for me when we partied. SO, if something had happened and I managed not to chuck myself off a bridge the morning after, I would NOT want h to know and I sure would not tell him just so I could get out of feeling guilty...no point in him knowing something so meaningless AND stupid on my part. Now I'm babbling....
that's my two cents...and Amyc...missing your posts girl!
(( j ))
Do I even make sense?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
My level of snooping has not gone further than finding ow on the internet....FB...actually, and since I am no longer a member (yes to protect MYSELF) I can only see her profile picture and that is as far as my snooping has gone. I think it's better that I know as little as possible about their relationship. If and that's a BIG IF...H would ever have regrets and we would reconsider getting back together, then I think it would be easier to know as little as possible about all the things they did together...it would make me too insecure to know everything.
Oh well, babbling I think !
Having a good day once again ! Feel good and cheerful, even though the weather has once again been all shades of grey !
Take care xx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Thanks for popping by my thread and your kind words. Yes, longer and brighter days make such a difference to the mood.
I hope you will have a great week-end although you will be without the kids. Sometimes a bit of a break is not bad and you will be even more appreciated.
I will try to have a nice week-end. Hopefully, the snowfall will stop by the time I have to drive. (((HUGS))) xxx
I just posted this on Treese's thread....I put on my 'naughty' shoes !!!! !!!!
You know I've been doing loads around the house too by myself, as H offers but never follows through and instead of 'waiting' for him to find the time, I usually do it myself. It has felt great and liberating to be honest... However tomorrow I have asked a guy I met a little over a year ago if his offer to come by and help me out with man-chores was still open...he sent a TM back saying 'of course !' so I asked him if he would mind hanging up some shelfs as I'm not good with drilling things into a wall...(This guy came over here about a year ago to cover the pool with some special stuff, he came over a few times after that and then one day he sent me a TM asking me out for a drink. I declined, told him I was married even though my H had run off with ow.) Well, yesterday I was brousing on a dating internet website, and believe it or not, I saw his picture and profile come by....so I decided to do a COMPLETE 180 and I sent him a TM on his phone (never mentioned the dating site of course !) asking him if his offer was still open. He was ever so sweet, and he's promised to try and come by tomorrow. The kids are away this weekend, and I'm a little nervous about having him in the house all by myself,(can I trust myself to be a 'good' girl???! )but I feel excited and it seems fun, to just do something I would NEVER have dared to do...!!
Oh well, just wanted to share that !
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
JUST DO IT CINDERS! At this point, what would be wrong with having a drink with a nice man? Are you still fighting for your M? Maybe I'm misreading everything you've said lately about moving forward.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
