In my sitch, I started taking care of all the things that went wrong while my H was gone. He would ask when he showed up how it got fixed. After a while he would ask if anything needed to be done while he was here. I would tell him and then I would tell him I would do it. Low and behold it would get fixed by him. I think it bothered him that I could do things without him and he needed to feel needed.
Also after he left, he would always say your house, your car etc. Then one day it started with the we, ours and together.
Hi Treese, my x would say we, even after he had left and so one day I said what is with the WE, he said oh I mean as in we own the house together. Who knows what goes on in their heads. Just let him do the work if it makes him happy!
You know I've been doing loads around the house too by myself, as H offers but never follows through and instead of 'waiting' for him to find the time, I usually do it myself. It has felt great and liberating to be honest... However tomorrow I have asked a guy I met a little over a year ago if his offer to come by and help me out with man-chores was still open...he sent a TM back saying 'of course !' so I asked him if he would mind hanging up some shelfs as I'm not good with drilling things into a wall...(This guy came over here about a year ago to cover the pool with some special stuff, he came over a few times after that and then one day he sent me a TM asking me out for a drink. I declined, told him I was married even though my H had run off with ow.) Well, I yesterday I was brousing on a dating internet website, and believe it or not, I saw his picture and profile come by....so I decided to send him a TM asking him if his offer was still open. He was ever so sweet, and he's promised to try and come by tomorrow. The kids are away this weekend, and I'm a little nervous about having him in the house all by myself,(can I trust myself to be a 'good' girl???! )but I feel excited and it seems fun, to just do something I would NEVER have dared to do...!!
Oh well, just wanted to share that !
Take care xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Treese, Contact your home owner's insurance agent and have them come out and estimate the damage. They will then advise you to find a siding installer. There's no need to try to fix this yourself or have gimpy come over. It's better to have a professional repair/replace the pieces because you want it tight on the house.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Wow....thank you all soooooo very much....it so helps to come here and vent...
Snodderly....gimpy? I had to laugh....I think he wants me to feel sorry for him...but I dont..the other day on the phone he just started talking about how he has a cast on now...I just said, really...It doesn't concern me right now...
Cinders...believe me...I have fixed so much stuff on my own and yes I can truly say, I did it myself...and it does feel good...
He took son on Friday night and was supposed to have him all weekend....NOT!! I knew I'd get that text on Saturday morning and I did...long story short...he said he had to work...LIE!!! Gosh I just don't believe a word that comes out of his mouth...I just told him to bring S11 back to me I would figure something out as I had dinner plans with lots of people and it was Valentines Day...I was not sitting home while he was wining and dining the OW...he may of had to work a little but not all night and what can he really do...he's in a cast for heaven's sake....how stupid does he really think I am?
So, Friday night I get a text from H and he tells me my daughter's boyfriend told him of the proposal...he couldn't wait to text me like he knew first...didn't have the heart to say i've known for 3 weeks...so here's my dilema...
Since H now knows do I ask him to come with us to watch the proposal..it's going to be a big deal...and then be my euchre partner...or not ask him? I have a male friend who was supposed to go with me to be my euchre partner in the tournament but if H goes I don't want that mess at my daughter's proposal...H could possibly go up even if I don't ask...
YIKES!!!!help me out with this one....
Last edited by Treese; 02/15/0906:51 PM.
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
Isn't your daughter the one that really has hard feelings toward your H? If that is the case, then I would say that it's best to not have H there......but it's up to the boy friend to make that decision. So, why don't you discuss it with D's boyfriend and see what the dynamic of his conversation with H was.
And definitely take your male friend as you already planned! If H shows up unexpectedly and sees you are not "pining" so much the better! But if you know in advance that H will be there, then I would do your male friend the courtesy of informing him of the situation, and let him decide if he still wants to join you or if he would feel uncomfortable in your H's presence.
And I love euchre!!!! H and I used to play that with friends all the time! My H grew up playing cards with his family. That's what most of our dating time consisted of. Movies, Restaurants, and playing cards every night with his brothers and their girlfriends. I was too young to go to a club or anything like that. I loved that "quality time" with family. That's part of why I fell in love with my H.....his value of family.
[[[[[hugs]]]]]
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
YOu are both right...my daughter's BF forwarded me the message he sent to H...my H acted like they talked on the phone...they didn't..just a text telling H that he bought a ring and plans on giving it to her on the 28th..but H knows I'm going up....doesn't know about the euchre tournament though...I will leave it as it and take my friend...
Just got back from son's bball game...saw H walk in and he sat wwwwaaaayyyyy on the other end of the bleachers...never said hi, and I never said hi to him...at the end of the game I gathered my son and left...H was still in the bleachers with his crutches and his big ol cast and boot....
So many things I would like to say to him, but holding my tongue it won't help matters...think I'll go scream in my pillow now....
Silent....I love playing euchre also...i've won a few tournaments with H...miss those days...I"m sure we have better ahead of us....just don't know when that is...
Treese
Treese
H 49 M 45 D 23, D17, S12 M 25 T 31 01/07 OW H at my door w/proof Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07 Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass, Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9 11/08 pos.paternity
)but I feel excited and it seems fun, to just do something I would NEVER have dared to do...!!
