My first step out of Newcomers

[Can it work]

Hi Naej. Yeah I've decided to just go for the night out. Just because life's not going exactly as I want at the moment doesn't mean I should let it pass me by. I'm going to go out with the sole purpose of enjoying myself. Whether or not my W finds out about it is of little consequence. this has to be about me now. Besides, what else am I going to do? Sit about on my own feeling sorry for myself? I don't think so.

Thanks for your advice on kids. That's set my mind at rest a bit. In answer to your question, yes so far as possible we try to keep him in the same routine. He gets his tea when we get home from work and then we play for a bit before bath time. After which it's bottle and bed. He's a good sleeper so we're lucky in that respect. I'll just play at by ear. He goes back to my W tomorrow morning so I intend to hand him over as a happy boy.

[naej]

Enjoy your night out. That sounds a good perspective.

Your son is one lucky boy to have a daddy like you and I know it must be tempting to try to find a reason for him being unsettled. My g/son is 20mths and has the most loving and devoted mum and dad together but my d still phones to say xyz what do I think.
Unfortunately they don't come with a manual but also they haven't had a mum and dad before so they have no comparisons to make, so you will always be the best in his eyes--well until he's about 12/13yrs.

[Can it work]

Well, the Wee Man has just gone down after us having a really good fun night together. My mother came by to visit after finishing work tonight and we all had a great time. It's going to be hard giving him up again tomorrow morning but I've already decided to visit him on Saturday afternoon so that'll be something else to look forward to. I count my blessings to have such a wonderful son. I'm sure he's going to be a handful at 12/13 sure enough Naej but I look forward to that time where I can interact with him even more and share in his hobbies. It'll be fun knowing that I can almost see my childhood again through his eyes.

There's another silly comedy movie on tv tonight so I think I'm going to watch that. It's not on for another hour yet though so I'll probably get some writing done first. The next part of my assignment is to write about somewhere I've visited and try to make the reader want to go there because of my description. It seems quite easy but this first assignment is only to give the assessors an idea of where I am in my ability to write and what aspects I need to work on initially. Once I've completed the first assignment, they start sending me more challenging ones. If appropriate, with the more challenging assignments, they may even recommend that I start submitting my work to various sources to try and get published. I'm really looking forward to the challenge. The course starts off with non-fiction writing which isn't really my thing but I'm willing to give it a try to see how it pans out. Eventually, I would like to write a novel but I'm prepared to take it one step at a time on the advice of my assessors.

[VeronicaV]

Kev.

There is no convincing the heart - it will be ready when it is ready and not a moment before. Just trust that it, along with your gut instinct, will lead you wherever you need to be at precisely the right moment.

You are doing a lot of great self-discovery and being a great father. Keep focused on yourself and you will be fine.

V.

[Can it work]

Hi V. Thanks for stopping by and offering your support. It all helps in the grand scheme of things.

I dropped Wee Man off with my W this morning. Although seeing her still brings up emotions in me I'd rather not have, I don't feel it was as bad as previous times. If anything, she was slightly more pleasant than usual. She even suggested that I come over sometime during the weekend to take Wee Man out for a couple of hours. I was going to suggest the same thing myself but it was good to hear it from her. I didn't really try to make any conversation with her but her mother was there aswell so I spoke away to her.

I need to speak to my W soon to arrange a time to go through the separation agreement. I'm not looking forward to it as it's going to be finalising things that little bit more. Legally speaking though, I need to do this so I don't leave myself open. We've already agreed on everything but it's the whole putting it down on paper bit which is going to be hard. Guess I'm just going to have to grin and bear it though.

Saffie, are you still hovering? I just wanted to let you know that I finished 'The Eyre Affair' last night. I really enjoyed it! God knows where that man gets his ideas from. It was such an original idea that I'm looking forward to reading more of his work. Thanks for the recommendation.

[PositivelyMommy]

Hi Kev,

Sounds like your interactions are calming down a lot which is great. I am glad you are controlling your actions and that WeeMan is being loved by so many people. That is very important for him.

Regarding your comment about more WAH come back than WAW. I think there might be a few differences. I think all WAS walk away because they are unhappy but I think more LBW tend to sit down, calm down and wait than LBH. I have seen women on this board who has waited years for their WAH. These women have will-power. Whereas a lot of LBH tend to want to move on with their lives after the first year or so. This is my unproven hypothesis anyway. I don't know if the WAW would eventually come back to their husbands or not but I think if more husbands waited just a little longer (studies prove that the infatuated period rarely lasts over two years) then maybe their wife would have reconsidered. But because they want to move on with their lives they then are open to new relationships and may find someone else.

I am not advocating one way or another, it's just an observation that I have seen a lot of women who hold out for a LONG time and not that many men.

[Can it work]

Hey there PM. Glad to see you back. I've missed you these last couple of days.

That's an interesting observation you bring up about LBW waiting longer than LBH. There could be something in that. I've always admitted that patience isn't one of my strengths so I'm not sure how I'll cope with this if it turns in to the long game. You asked me recently how long I was willing to wait on my W. I'm not really sure I can answer that question or quantify such a possibility. I think the answer is that I'll just have to take it as it comes. I can see that if, after a year, there's absolutely no progress or improvement at all then I possibly will be starting to look elsewhere. However, if I'm seeing steady progress throughout, I can see me waiting indefinitely. Who knows though? Right now, the only certainty is that I have no idea what the future's going to bring.

Kev

[saffie]

Kev,

I am always hovering.....like a guardian angel!!!!

The next book in the series is called Lost in a Good Book. There are five in the series altogether and you can find the order out from the publication dates on Amazon. I just loved them. He has also written a 'Nursery Crimes' series which so far there are two of. The first one is called The Big Over Easy and is all about who killed Humpty Dumpty. It is also a good read but I would recommend reading the Thursday Next series first.

I am afraid you have discovered I am a readaholic, and any recommendations in return are always appreciated. I just read Brutal Art by Jesse Kellerman and that was quite entertaining, although nowhere near as good as 'I know This Much is True' by Wally Lamb.

You sound as though you are getting yourself more together which is great. You have come a long way in a very short time my friend. Well done.

If you want to you can find me on Face Book - I am in the DB group and friends with many on there. You can email me direct that way if you want to.

[Can it work]

Hey Saffie

I have to admit I'm fairly addicted to reading aswell. Have you read the Egyptian series by Wilbur Smith? The first one's called River God. They're a bit of a disconnected series being set in completely different eras in history but excellent just the same. For laughs I quite often read Terry Pratchett. I watched an excellent documentary recently where he was coming to terms with his Alzheimers. It was absolutely facinating and gave me even more respect for the man. His books are predominantly set in a fantasy world but don't let that put you off. The humour is very much of the moment. Yes, I may be a bit of a geek but not in the traditional sense. My W used to say that I just had geekish tendencies!

I think I will check out the DB group on Face Book. I'm not signed up yet but I'll give it a try. Can't do it from my work computer though as the website is blocked. I'll try and get on sometime over the weekend. I'm sure I'll find time at some point.

[saffie]