Slept well last night. first time with no dreams that I can remember. didn't want to get up, very rested right now. Long weekend ahead, didn't even know, just found out we have Monday off.
All of what I do from here on out is about me. I will be in church tomorrow at 8:00 AM. I feel relieved that I am going. I have all my tax info, finally and I will do them and file electronically tonight. Hoping to get back a few dollars. I will have a very busy weekend. tonight is taxes and some cleaning, laundry. Hole in me is still wide open, but I can feel it closing, finally. My rage is quieter. My acceptance of this decision is probably what I should have done from the start. I am in my "white" room now and much like my walk, it is peaceful and quiet. The only way it can get crazy is if I let it. Trapt, I saw your reply over at another thread and read the previous post regarding affairs. How the WAS becomes dependent and the rest. This is what happened to my W. The OM , well this is his 3rd time around with this and he is married and has a young son. My W knew his reputation and whatever. they are good for each other, neither one has a pot to piss in and neither one has anything close to a relationship with their families, although OM does live in his parents basement. How sweet....
My goal is to get through this month with my decision, then I will see what I see...I am very hard right now, very rigid and emotionally strapped. This is my determination mode. Lots to do, very little time. Pain is worse today. Always as the heal, wounds begin to hurt as they mend. I may be busy next weekend as well, kinda psyched about that. If I don't go out, I get my boys....
