I guess my point would be that trying to figure out what is in his head isn't going to do anything but drive you crazy. So, I'll do it, anyway! I would expect that at some level he isn't feeling very good about himself. But, he isn't going to want to blame himself for that. So, who is the easiest person to blame? I think you can figure that one out! He's got to work though that and accept what he has done before he can really come back. And there's not much you can do to help him. All you can do is work on yourself so that you are ready when it is time.
I don't think it is a good idea to do things for the purposes of "playing a card". You should do them because they are the "right" thing for you. You go dark not because you want him to react, but to allow yourself the room to breathe. The difference is sometimes subtle, but after a while you'll start to feel it. DBing is about saving your M, but is really about saving yourself.
