I came on here, and it was amazingly helpful. I started doing things correctly, messed up a couple of times, but started becoming a different person.
W noticed, and reacted. She has noticed me standing up and being a man, and has reacted. I tried being "the better option" and W has reacted.
I regained my confidence mostly when it struck me that this is all in W's head, and there's nothing I can do with it. She refuses counseling, refuses medication.
Just so you know, when I sent that email, I was nauseated, scared, and couldn't focus on anything. I was checking my email every 15 minutes to see what her response would be, but it felt right then, and it feels right now.
But W has started hurting the kids: telling the kids mean things about me, she spends very little time with them due to school (and takes an evening from them per week to spend with OM).
What made me say, "OK, enough waiting" was this:
After 2.5 years of loving her, caring for her, doing everything she could ever want, spending time as a family, really DOTING on her - she ended up openly dating another man - even brought him to see our kids on the third date. I don't know the nature of the relationship, and it doesn't matter.
For two months, I was the "better option". I actually realized I was a MUCH better option, and she chose dissolution over honoring her family by ending the affair.
