Maybe I should be in piecing part 6?

[Hope4us]

Thanks everyone.

Well, first things first. Got the new bed Tues morning but had to wash all the new bedding stuff and there were some other things going on so we didn't get the bed put completely together until last night and........SHE SLEPT IN IT! When she came to bed about 20 minutes after I had, she made some joke about her having the bed looking really nice and I'd messed it up by getting in it and I fired back at her, in a joking manner of course, and we both had a laugh about that. And it was really windy last night, and our bedroom has vaulted ceilings so the ceiling is basically the roof and it was LOUD. And W said this morning she almost went downstairs cause it's more quiet, but she didn't. And we had more morning conversation this morning than we've had in a couple years. No touching in bed though, but it was still just freakin nice to have her in OUR bed with me.

What else is going on....?

The contract negotiations that W was heavily involved in were settled and the Manager of her Refinery invited all the people involved in the negotiations out to dinner sometime next week. W told me about it this morning. She then forwarded the note to me that the Mgr had written to them. In that note he invited them PLUS their spouses. W could have not forwarded that note or deleted the part about spouses being invited if she didn't want me to know I was invited so she could just go by herself, but she didn't. So that made me feel pretty good.

W has been stressing because her Temp Assignment is coming to an end and she REALLY doesn't want to go back to her normal job that she HATES. I've been very supportive of her. Gave her space when she's obviously wanted it, thinking about returning to her job. I've been a sounding board when she's wanted someone to talk to about it. Listened, LISTENED, LISTENED....

She hasn't given me anything to call her on for a couple weeks. Last night we went grocery shopping and had FUN. It's amazing that we seem to really connect when we grocery shop. How weird is that?

Saturday is the show we're going to see. Going to go out to dinner, the show and then some drinks. W is excited, but with everything going on at work, she hasn't talked much about it. S16 is going to spend the weekend with his best friend in our hometown, so it'll be W and I from Friday evening til Monday evening. I'll let her dictate how much we interact.

Tonight W is going shopping with EGF. In my best GAL, when W told me she was going shopping, I immediately replied that I had a haircut and a friend and I were going out for some wings and a couple beers anyway, so I'd just see her sometime tonight. W is shopping because she needs some clothes for the wedding we're going to next Friday. And then we're going to visit our good friends and see their new house. So all in all, it's been a pretty freakin normal couple weeks.

And oh yeah....Tuesday, after they delivered the bed, I had to run up to her Refinery for work, so I stopped and picked up a couple Latte's and dropped one off for her. It was kind of weird when I did. It was like she was surprised and appreciative, but really didn't want me there. I kind of called her on it later in the day, but she said she was just surprised to see me and was really busy and didn't mean to give me the impression she didn't want to talk or anything and thanked me for the gesture.

So, that's about it. Probably won't be on here for a few days. Got a personnel issue with one of the guys who works for me that I need to meet with Mgmt and HR about. Oh boy, isn't that fun? But it's been good. When I found out about the issue yesterday, I went home and told W I wanted her opinion on something and we discussed it and she came to the same conclusion to the issue that I'd been rolling around in my head and she seemed pleased that I was interested in her opinion. I said to her "of course I'm interested in your opinion, you have great business sense and I wanted to bounce it off you" and she smiled.

Talk to you all later. I'll try to get around to some other threads, but again, it's pretty busy at work so I don't know if I'll have a chance or not. But I'm thinking about all of ya!

See ya.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

H4U,

I've been thinking about you a LOT lately, and was really hoping things were going well.

Your update made my day!!!

Puppy

[Hope4us]

Thanks Pup.

Just time for a quick note. The EGF strikes again!

Don't know for sure, but things have been going really good lately and then W goes shopping with EGF and when I got home last night, W was different. Quiet, withdrawn, whatever you want to call it.

could be that my GAL activity made her think, but I don't really believe that.

So what do you do about a toxic friend that is putting a barrier in between W and I?

[whatdidido]

Toxic friends are bad, obviously. There's nothing you can really do about it other than what you are already doing. I"m going to get "religious" on you. Pray that she makes new, better relationships with other people. God doesn't want people to be unequally yoked with unbelieving friends. It doesn't mean that she should never hang out with her, but the relationships that influence you the most should be with people who strive to live God's way.

From personal experience, I'm learning to distance myself from my egf. When I'm with her, I feel bad for some reason. She seems to suck everything out of me. I can't just stop being her friend, however. I feel like she needs me at times, and it would feel wrong to ditch her altogether.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

So what do you do about a toxic friend that is putting a barrier in between W and I?

Well, my wife IS Italian, and we DO know a guy . . .

[Hope4us]

Thanks WDID. In the beginning I was praying a ton, even though I'm not a terribly religous person. Spiritual yes, religous, no.

Might get back into that, but given I'm not much of a church guy, not sure how much he'll help.

I wonder sometimes if W recognizes that EGF is toxic? Like I said, last night, W was really quiet and withdrawn, but first thing this morning after I got to work, she's come back out of that funk. So that was pretty quick. We traded some emails about an incident with another one of the guys who works for me (I swear they don't pay me enough to deal with this sh*t) and one of my last comments to her was I was planning on hitting this little bar/restaurant near us tonight and if she was interested she's welcome to come along and she replied that it sounded like fun so we're going. Then tomorrow is the night away for the show.

WDID, when you first started recognizing that EGF was toxic and you'd spend time with her, did you still let her thoughts affect you? If so, how long would it take you to snap out of it? I know everyone is different, but just curious.

Puppy, LOL. Not needed though. If I go that route, my admin is full blooded Italian and has lots of "cousins" in the area. Crack me up. She told me one time that when she was young her family would go to funerals/picnics etc with "cousins". When she got older she was told "they're not really your cousins" and she was ticked because the guys were "hot" but she never pursued because they were related. Made me laugh out loud.

Thanks for the comments guys.

[InLikeFlynn]

How do you refer to this EFG? I would keep calling her your Toxic Friend!! Of course she may ask why you call her that...then explain. A truth dart!!

[Hope4us]

I appreciate the comment Flynn, but I'm not going to do that. I don't need W defending her. It's almost like if you criticize an OP, it just ends up making your spouse feel cornered and likely to defend her. And I don't want them any closer than they are now, which has greatly slacked off in the last 3-4 months.

I have no clue what's going on in her head, but it seems like she must recognize on some level that EGF is bad for her. Whether it's EGF insulting me to my W, encouraging my W to look for a new man, having to be her "mom" or what, but the relationship has definitely changed from what it was back in the early fall.

Just hope she goes away soon, or maybe I/we go away.

Had a very good time last night. W sent me an email on my blackberry asking if I was in for the dinner celebrating the successful negotiations next Thurs and I told her "sounds like fun". She got home from work a little late as she was finishing up some stuff from the negotiations and we went to the little bar/restaurant near us. Had a nice long meal/drinks with lots of really good conversation. I think we were there for over 3 hours. At one point, after the food was gone, our waitress came up and asked if we were ready for the check and I looked at W and she said "no, we're going to sit here for a while". So that was nice.

Got home and we both fell a sleep on the couch fairly soon. I went up to bed when I woke up. W is so funny, she was sleeping on the couch also, and when I went up to bed she woke up and of course, had to stay up longer, so she changed the channel to the evening news and stayed put. Middle of the night I wake up and she's not in bed. I come down stairs this morning and the lights are still on in the family room and she's a sleep on the couch.

I almost said something to her about not sleeping in bed, but decided not to go there as it definitely doesn't do anything to further my goals. If it becomes a pattern, I will, but not going to worry about one night.

Leaving to go to see Lord of the Dance later this afternoon. Should be an enjoyable evening.

Talk to ya later.

[Hope4us]

Hey everyone.

Just got back from the show and our night away. And it was GOOD.

We went to an Irish Pub for dinner and some drinks, talked and talked. Went to the show and it was FANTASTIC! If you've never seen one of these kinds of shows, do it. You won't be disappointed.

After the show we went back to the pub and had a late night snack and a couple more drinks.

Went back to the room and got into bed and I decided it was time to see where we were, so I "made my move" and she didn't pull back. And we ML. Pretty hot and passionate if I do say so myself. Came home a bit ago, talking the whole drive.

So, here are some things that happened and I noticed.

EGF TM'd W during the show. W didn't see it til the show was over, but EGF got engaged.....again. So now she's 25/26 and going to marry her 3rd H. First two marriages lasted a year only. Her last divorce was final about this time last year, she found the next victim and now she's going to marry him. Like S16 said to me the one day EGF and (now) Fiance came to pick up W, "good god man, run as far away as you can while you still have a chance". Totally cracked me up.

Right before the show started, W asked me about the job move that fell through. I told her it fell through and I came close to being run off from my job because of my performance last year. I think she get's how our sitch contributed to that.

One time last night and one time this morning I saw W looking at her left ring finger, like she was thinking about her wedding rings. It'll be interesting if they go back on soon.

W was talking about buying a car again last night, but I wasn't in the right frame of mind (Tennant's and Stella Adrois will do that to you) so I didn't have that conversation with her. But I listened.

W was kind of angry that she'd sent S20 a Happy Valentine's TM and he didn't respond. I sent him a TM and told him to TM his Mother. He did, but she was pissed because he hadn't responded earlier so she didn't respond for a bit, but eventually did.

On the way home this morning, S16 called me and we talked for a bit. I asked him if he wanted to talk to his mom and he said "no". I gave the phone to her anyway and they talked and had some good laughs after I told her he said "no" when I'd asked him if he wanted to talk to her. After she hung up she said "You can always count on S16 to tell the truth". And I just replied "yes". A short time later we stopped at a gas station to get a quickie coffee and when we pulled in I asked W if she wanted anything else and she said "I want a big bag" (the ice machine outside the station had a sign for big bags of ice and she was just trying to make a funny) so I replied, "I'll have to see what I can do" and she looked at me and I said "oh, come on, that was funny" and she then realized what my joke was and she smiled and laughed.

That's about it. Time for a nap. Not as young as I used to be.

It was a very good evening and although I'd like to say we're on our way forward again, I'm not getting my hopes up. She may have just wanted "it" and it meant nothing to her. But we'll see.

Talk to ya soon.

[Hope4us]

And oh yeah, one more thing. Last night at one point, W showed me her cell phone and showed me she hasn't deleted her incoming/outgoing TM's for quite a while.

It was almost like she was trying to show me she's got nothing to hide because if she did she'd have deleted the TM's. I thought it was a nice gesture on her part.

And also, right when we went to bed she said to me in the sweetest voice "thank you for tonight. I had a really good time". I about fell out of bed, but instead