Kevin, I appreciate your thoughts - I guess I may have given a wrong impression.
I love my wife unconditionally and forever. There is nothing more in the world I want than for a chance to rekindle a relationship with her and make our family whole.
I pray every day for her salvation, I pray for her emotional/mental healing, and I pray for God to help me be the man I need to be.
Honestly, the only thing I am 100% clear on right now is going dark. God has confirmed this clearly for me.
Also, note that I'm not filing divorce/dissolution, I'm asking W to. I gave her a choice of ending the affair or getting a dissolution, and she chose the dissolution, so I'm simply asking her to end this quickly. My kids deserve better if I don't. The OM is still married, and there are no signs of him ending his marriage, but that is solely W's problem.
- But -
I spent 2.5 years enabling W - doing everything she wanted, and so on; in a way, this is my LRT. If the end of my month of dark comes, and I feel clear before God, I will file divorce, but I told God this month was His to do whatever He wanted for me, W, and our kids.
Jesus gives specific clearance to file divorce in the case of adultery, and if I do file, I will sit down with my kids and explain why.
