If it helps at all, I spoke to Jody. She said that people on teh boards get stuck in the Last Resort technique and it becomes that, the technique.. and they do so as they feel comfortable there and it involves little risk.. but at some stage, you are supposed to Try something different, move out of that technique and once contact is reestablished, you need ot work on being in stage 2 - friendship. She said how would you treat a friend yu hadnt seen for a while that was emailing you? You'd say, in a very non-pressurising way about meeting up -BUT she said, spur of the moment invites are perfect and better .. as in, hey got your email, sounds like you have a lot going on, I'll be going along to X if you fancy joining us for a drink and a chat about it (or something, but she is American, so I find it needs to be "Englished-ised"!).
She made me reaslise, although my ex is now emailing me every few days the past month, I'm still "afraid" to call him, or ask to meet for a drink - she said to me, but what have you got to lose?? So I did invite him along yesterday, but he still didnt come! She said dont take it personally though, its often about how the other person feels abut themselves more than how they feel about you. So... anyway, if that helps, sure, why not suggest meeting up one day, when you're in the mood for it?
Glad he is being friendlier on email.. he had kind of cut you off for much of last year hey.
Thats a shame people in RL expect you to be moving on sooner and cant be particularly supportive, like I said, my T said its like a death and 1-2 years to get over a sudden traumatic breakup of this kind is normal.
Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
