Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[cagzmom]

weird thing happened tonight at my counseling session.

first off let me just say it is so strange to not sit and cry and talk about xh anymore in those sessions. Oh yes he is brought up-- but so different.. so strange..almost foreign to me.

then -- have had a friend in my life for close to 30 years. he (yes he) is a friend..a man of character and he is engaged so please hear this... I said tonight to my c.. "where is my JOHN DOE"... I was talking about my friend. I have alot of respect for him, the decisions he has made etc. BUT it is the FIRST time in 2 years that I have said "i want someone like XYZ" not I WANT X.

It is a step in healing for me. In knowing that in a relationship i deserve to be treated with respect and honesty. It is a step.

of course my heart still says... well xh could be that .... but his actions speak .... thats all there is to say as there are "NO MORE WORDS..."