My outlets are few. I can deal with it, but loneliness is the one thing in life I fear. I really mean fear...
Try as hard and as much as you like to build your faith. You will never be able to hold on to it if you carry fear. Your fear will rob you of your faith in a very short time. Hence the back and forth struggle.
Reminded me:
Fear knocked on the door Faith answered No one was there
You're doing the opposite by feeding your fears...and that reminds me of something else which if I've posted it once I've posted it a hundred times here but it's worth doing again because it is so true:
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all."
One is Evil
It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
One is Good
It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
