A few thoughts from someone that has been divorced for a long time. One thing that might help with the "forgiveness" is if you start to get in the mindset that you are actually lucky to be getting out of the relationship with her. I'm glad I'm divorced from my first wife. She isn't someone I'd want to be with...so why shouldn't I be glad for that? I know it sucks having visitation. Ten years later, it still isn't great. My kids are old enough now that my son drives over to the house...so I don't see my XW except for the kids' activities. I talk to her very infrequently. In some ways it's dysfunctional, since we aren't really coparenting as much as separately parenting, but it's nice not to have to talk to her much. I think the anger stems from the fact that you still want her back...so it's very hard to move forward. If possible, don't put yourself in the position to even have to see her. Stay in the car at drop-off and pick-up. I would knock, wait for the kids, and then get the heck out of there without going in her house. I wouldn't even have to see my XW. It's how I preferred. She's not my friend or anyone I like. Shoot for indifference rather than sulking.
Get the kids some kind of wardrobe as quick as you financially are able. You won't regret being able to make two homes for your kids. Make sure you let them know it's their home. Say, "ready to go home?" about going to your house. They'll get used to this over time and it won't be so hard.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
