Hope, you are amazingly brave. Good for you! You are so positive that even the guy that served you is on your side! You were not a mess, but a picture of calm and dignity. Unbelieveable that you are so strong.. You will come out ahead in this no matter what. I know you are a better person already, stronger, braver, more positive. This mess is actually making you the person you were always meant to be.
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
Hi PM, good to hear from you. I wish I was so brave. Some days are better than others. Today I am feeling somewhat down.
Went to a contemplative prayer group last night. This is my second time. I have been trying to quiet my soul and heart and bring God in. It is very interesting. You sit in the dark with a candle for 1/2 hour and try to clear your mind and keep a word in your head everytime your mind starts slipping into non-quieting thoughts. I came out very peaceful.
Today I feel stressed. Had to park right by H's car today and how silly that just seeing his car triggered me.
Need to breathe. take care.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Yes, I'm doing ok acutally. I did start a new thread but haven't posted much. It's now been 4 weeks since my H furiously emailed that he would talk with his L about my response. Well I guess 4 weeks in MLC time is just a few days maybe? As my signature line says, it's his move now. I will not call or email first.
The less you see your H the better off you'll be. I haven't seen mine since August!
Hang in there.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Well H called D28 (no surprise I expected it). Talked about D15 and he does not understand why she won't talk to him. He also said her messages were being "disrespectful". I have seen all the texts she has sent him. H sends the same type message. "I miss you and love you or I will always be your Dad". The last one D15 sends a message "stop texting me, I will call you when I want to speak to you". If that is disrespectful it is truthful. H did not expect this. I think H called to see if D28 would mention about the D papers being served. He kept asking her "what was new", so she told him all about my mother's 85th birthday party (my mother loved H to death), not the news he was looking for. Oh well.
Silverfox will stop by your thread. Sorry we are going through this. Can't believe you have not seen H since August. How did we get here?
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Well some updates, guess they are investigating H and OW with their unethical behavior at work. I think the bomb will hit soon. For H to lose a 16 year career for this slag that has been here less than a year is mindboggling. I was the one who saw H work his way up, go to college at night, and advance career wise. I have the history -- she is the interloper.
Will H get another job - I am sure -- but money wise I don't think so.
Also I have not talked to H for over 3 weeks now but dropped a Plan B letter at his desk. In it I told him that I was detaching from him to preserve what love I still had for him because I was starting to hate him. Told him I the door was still open to create the M we should have but we cannot have that till his affair with the plastic pinata ends (used her real name). Said this would make our girls happy for us to work on our M. Very short letter a few paragraphs but it really is a roadmap back if he realizes she is not what he wants.
I know it is not a DB thing but it keeps my sanity and gives H boundaries of what he has to do to win me back.
Now I know that H served me D papers, but I have seen other situations much worse than mine where a divorce went through and the M reconciled. So I have to have that faith in God.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope, I think of the situation that our children have to go through and it infuriates me.
I can relate it to my life in a way. My mother died 14 years ago. My parents were true soulmates. A little over a year later my father remarried. I was so hurt. I couldn't believe that he had "replaced" my mother. I now realize it wasn't that he "replaced" her, he found a woman that could fill the void in his life and love her.
What I'm trying to say is that I was so hurt at first that my dad had remarried. He remarried because my mother died. He didn't choose to end his relationship with my mother. I must admit because of my grief it took me a while to accept my stepmother. Thankfully, I now have a good relationshiop with my stepmother and am so glad that my father found someone to share the rest of his life with. I can't imagine the hurt and anger that our children go through when a parent chooses someone else over a parent that they love and destroys their family.
Hang in there my friend. We will all make it through this and be better people because of it. We just have to remember that the man upstairs always knows best.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Yoyo, I got a chill when I read your last sentence "We just have to remember that the man upstairs always knows best"...
My Dad said that all the time. He was the best father a family could have. He has been gone 12 years and I miss him everyday. I need to remember that.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Hope, Beside my desk I have a picture of a landscape with the sun breaking though the clouds that someone once emailed me. On the picture it has this saying:
I know you're watching over me And I'm feeling truly blessed For no matter what I pray for you always know best!
This gets me through a whole lot!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
