I can only agree with what everyone else has already said. I add to this that I can only conclude one thing, and one thing only -- until your H lets the OW go -- as an employee, a contact and a "friend" -- your relationship with him is not going to work. It is going to always be far too painful for you even if the A really is over.
Your H had better understand exactly what this is doing to the both of you. If he wants to remain oblivious to this and continues to make excuses, then he is demonstrating his lack of concern for you and your best interests. Cake eating in any form will destroy a R.
