My wife is/was at least a very family oriented person. If this affair comes out with her family knowing - it will probably fall apart very quickly (or go deeper underground). She is relying on her family for financial support without me, so if they all of a sudden understand the real reason she is pushing divorce so quickly they might not be so helpful.
Sure - family will support her in the end no matter what. But her mother won't support her relationship with this guy at all. Especially not with the lies and breach of trust that her daughter has put on her. Her mom has chosen to believe everything she says and mistrust me. Now that I can show that she has in fact been lying, her mom is going to re-evaluate her own enabling behavior.
Her brother is going to view the evidence I have. He says if it is 'compelling' he will talk to his mother (so she doesn't get defensive if it is me.) Then they will decide to confront my wife with or without me there. Once the 'secret' is out, I'm convinced that it will evaporate.
I can't do any DBing, etc. with a hostile divorce action + OM involvement whispering in her ear on what to do.
No way in hell I tip my hand to her family. Once she (her lawyer) knows EXACTLY what you have on her, she will move quickly to mitigate it. She cannot mitigate what she THINKS you have on her.
Talk to your lawyer, he/she will agree.
Tip your hand AFTER she signs a reasonable and equitable divorce decree.
H: 38 W: 36 S: 8 S: 5 M: 16 Bomb: 8/25/08 OM: 9/21/08 EA (Possible PA) with co-worker since 5/08 (at least...) Sep: 9/21/08 D Filed 9/23/08 My Situation
