Aud, [/quote] That said (and in keeping with a DR principle), have you ever communicated your expectations and desires to your W regarding your M? Have you given her a clear opportunity to understand her role in working on the R? Just curious.
[/quote]
There hasn't been an opportunity for me to present my expectations and desires to her. The sleeping elsewhere didn't stop until last September.
I would like to start with respectful communication as an expectation. If she can work on that, I think it will serve as a foundation for us to work on other issues.
It seems like we've been thru a storm of emotions these past months, and now the rain is letting up.
I'm going to resume IC tomorrow. This may eventually provide an opportunity for MC, and constructive communication.
My stance is there will only be a D, if she pursues it. She's going to have to work either way--towards a D and an independent life or repairing the M. I think she's learned that there is no escape from marital problems. Of course, I have to work on my issues too, but hopefully more in partnership with my W than alone.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
