I have thought about seeing a shrink. I have decided I don't need one. I need to clear my head of all of this my way. this could be the biggest mistake of my life, but then again, I have been told that so many times, it is just words. the biggest mistake of my life was forgetting what is most important. that's water under the bridge. I won't do that again.....the hole in me is big, very big and the emptiness hurts like Hell. But I will close this hole, I will close it my way. And if it isn't God's will or wish that I do so, then I will be damned for all time. Really didn't think I was going any place but anyway...No rest for the weary or the braindead as I have always said. I fit both of those now. I am getting back to my routines. Amy, I am very scared right now of how my mind is....very scared....
