WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 2

[confusedinpa]

Generally, it is better if you let her express her feelings and validate them. As a general rule, she should express more of her own feelings than you, she should talk more than you.

I'm thinking that I will bring it up during our next counseling session. She really hasn't shared much of her current feelings with me. The few times that she does, I do try to listen. Really all she has expressed is that she feels that she doesn't have a good choice to make - a divorce or staying in an unhappy marriage. I had tried to offer the third of staying and building our relationship so we can have the life we both had dreamed of when we got married. She said the she can't see how to do that as everytime she sees me, all she sees is the person who hurt her all these years. Each time, we talk about bringing that up in counseling, but she doesn't.

She does talk about her past feelings during counseling. I'm not trying to get her to talk about her current feelings though. I stopped checking her temperature a couple of weeks ago. But I feel it's not working very well as she hasn't opened up. A few times I would share my thoughts/feelings and would ask her what she thought/felt about what I shared.

It's very hard.

Can you send me the link to retroville? I may order the material for April so I can find a time to show her.

Thanks