Oprah - Feb 11/09

[limbo]

Hi,

I was wondering if anyone saw Oprah yesterday? I am not a big fan, but my Mum told me to watch.
She had guy on who had written a book call "the truth about cheating".

For those interested this book can be downloaded from her site for free for today only.

If you saw it, what did you think?

[Gypsy]

Thanks for the information, limbo..

I downloaded the book and am going to read it.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

No, but if it was on Oprah, I'm sure it involved lots of weeping and New Age angst . . .

[limbo]

Suprisingly puppy it didn't!

The author of the book was on, and they had some couples who had gone through what most of us had here.
It was mostly focusing on men and why they cheat, and what drives them to it.
Some of the stuff I knew, some was suprising.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Suprisingly puppy it didn't!

The author of the book was on, and they had some couples who had gone through what most of us had here.
It was mostly focusing on men and why they cheat, and what drives them to it.
Some of the stuff I knew, some was suprising.

Of course it was.

[AnotherNightmare]

I agree, limbo. I expected a men-bashing show, but it was quite interesting.

He said there are some serial cheaters, can't help them. But most men really cheat for the same reasons as women. Essentially, their needs (which are, of course, different from women's needs) are not met in the M. The most interesting comment he made I thought was that men are as emotional as women (that was news!), but they have - as we all know - a much harder time to express their emotions.

AN

[limbo]

Thats right!

And most of the men the spoke to said that was the case.
Also they said how men need to feel like they are winning, and that goes for a marriage, it boiled down to feeling appreciated.
How in alot of areas we just over look that, such as them going to work everyday, and if they feel that its taken for granted.
So with the ow they make them feel appreciated, and strokes there ego.
The emotional thing was suprising to me to!

[robx]

Thats right!

And most of the men the spoke to said that was the case.
Also they said how men need to feel like they are winning, and that goes for a marriage, it boiled down to feeling appreciated.
How in alot of areas we just over look that, such as them going to work everyday, and if they feel that its taken for granted.
So with the ow they make them feel appreciated, and strokes there ego.
The emotional thing was suprising to me to!

I hear that last part so often from the female perspective of men. Men are emotional?! Can't be?

Well let's see.

Men & Women, both human beings and aside from the reproductive organ biology, we pretty much share the same body parts & other essential body parts: brain, heart, etc.

We also always hear about emotional intelligence and that men just don't get it and they just don't have any emotional intelligence. But if women have emotional intelligence and men don't and it's surprising for women to hear that men can be emotional, maybe women having more emotional intelligence than men is another myth?

Food for thought.

Have you ever seen a father hold his kid for the first time after child birth? Have you seen the pride in a good father's heart when he holds his son or daughter for the first time. Have you ever seen the expression in a father's eyes when someone hurts his children? Have you ever seen a father shield his children from harm? I'm sure you've witnessed all of the above with other women but how many times did you spend the time to soak in these types of moments when men have performed them? Men aren't automatons, we do have feelings.

I'm not posting this to be angry or set anyone in there place, it's just when I read stuff like this, it shows me that maybe women don't pay enough attention to men & their relationships that they claim to do.

If men aren't emotional, why do men fall in love with women?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

More than anything, men crave RESPECT. A man will usually rather feel unloved, than disrespected.

Puppy

[limbo]

Rob and Puppy I agree with you both.
I know I over looked the simple fact that my h had the same emotions as me, i think the problem is that men themselves tend to hold them back, and so we feel that they don't feel things in the same way.
This is were communication becomes key, from doing retrouvaille with my H it has allowed us to speak about feelings and emotions like we have never done before, and it is a huge thing, and it helps me to see where he is and what he is feeling.
Rob the emotions you speak of are good points, but sometimes I think those are the ones we expect, but all other emotions tend to be forgotten in men, you are supposed to be the strong ones, and this is were the problems arise, thats what I think anyways!