It exemplifies what troubles me with this approach...It's a quiz for a wife to determine if her H is cheating - I answered it honestly from my point of view - and it would have warned B that I was cheating on her...though that was never the case when she dropped the bomb...It seems like a gimmicky way to get people to worry about and try to fix their marriages...not by working on themselves but by fixating on their impressions of their partner - if B would have taken this quiz, she would have certainly been convinced that I was cheating on her - which would just have been a distraction from the real issues at hand...
I agree with you about the dangers of the gimmicky approach. I wish the authors of some incendiary books would think about the probable effects in situations like yours.
You might enjoy this blog post by Steven Stosny:
Quote:
A sure-fire way to destroy your relationship is to diagnose your partner with a personality disorder or other character disease. Unfortunately, a cottage industry of self-help books exists to encourage you to do just that.
I'm sorry you have to leave your house with the fruit trees, but I know that what makes a home is that the inhabitants feel loved and valued, not the relative elegance or simplicity of the structure. Even if you move to a beat-up single wide trailer, you are making a better home for your boys.
