Just so I get it, let me see....Your w's actions lately include her calling you when her aunt died, and planning to shop with you and go to dinner with you this Friday night, but you are upset and ready to throw in the towel b/c she is not saying what you need to hear?
I don't know what her other male friends are like, but are any of them the father of her children? B/C I have to say as a woman,no mother is unmoved by the loving interaction of her children with their father. It's a "turn on" for me and surely is at least an emotional one for other women. Try to enjoy that unique role you play in your d's life and your w's. She knows you are not just another guy.
I don't know all your history but assume there was an A, or something that triggered her actions. If so, whatever the "event" is, don't give up. This is likely to be a test and part of it is testing your ability to show that over time, you'll still stick around. If not, she wants to know now.
When you get to piecing, and I hope and think you will, then that won't be a piece of cake either. I can tell you it's still tough. Prove yourself now or it won't be worth it in the long run. Does this make sense? I mean, if you are going to quit now then what's the point of trying to really reconcile b/c that ain't easy either??
It's worth it. But it isn't easy. Good luck and know that if someone had asked me 5 years ago whether I'd put up with what I've put up with, or asked me 2 years ago whether I'd still be m to h, I'd have said NO WAY to both questions...but here we are.
IT happens. Turn it over to God. I read some of Marianne Williamson and she is too new agey for many people. But I found her exercises on forgiveness and letting go of anger, really really helpful. So for me, it worked a lot. And I do those exercises even now and maybe your w will too. Regardless, YOU can turn it over to Him as I learned to do in the shower, and the bath...I'd say it out loud just to hear it and mean it...
It helps. Prayers are good things. I never really had an "active" R with God before; thought if I lived a good life I'd make it into the club. But was not the type to pray for daily "action". I do now. It also helps. I think HE cares more about our lives and we can invite Him into our lives more than we realize. I recall thinking not to bother God with my trivial problems b/c there are starving people, etc. but then I realize He can handle ALL the stuff so maybe he's okay with me "calling" him pretty darn often. Like maybe he WANTS ME TO CALL HIM MORE....
so I am. So far, God has not hung up or screened my calls yet. But sometimes he doesn't say what I want, or it's not clear to me until much much later.... That's on me. Keep on keeping on...
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
