Glad you responded. It's been 6 months, but need to face the facts of her infidelity, how long that was going on i didn't know about, her new lifestyle and the only time i hear from her is about money she needs and nmoney she ain't got.
I need to tell you that there was a text battle tonight Amy, and i was shaking because it is the first time i spoke my mind....the first.
I told her I didn't want to pay her for what she did to me, her response was i wasn't paying her, she was entitled because we were together for 3/4 of the year. My response was, you were gone long before that, unless u forgot your own words. Look you sucked the life out of me, wasn't that enough? turn your car in, I don't care they will come after me, liek the $200o in bills you left me with and 3 months behind in the mortgage. i found a way and took care of it, where was your half of those bills? I didn't ask you fro a cent.
I was shaking....Amy my head has to get clear of this, even you have told me that. I can't drop the rope, you see it and have been seeing it. you nailed it when you said i have just been otherwise occupied. The thought of her coming back to me keeps me afloat and drowns me at the same time.
Supplanter, to wrongfully hold others possessions or place. Jeremiah 9, I have read it. I understand it and I know to which part you mean I fall into. but this is God's will, that I must depart this and leave it totally to Him. I am finally doing that. You and I have discussed how I need to do it. My belief in her return was outweighing all my other beliefs, I believe this to be his will, his guidance and Our path together. My walk with Him will be long, He wants me healed, He wants me free of this, my readings of passages that pertain to this to me, indicate that I leave this wholly and fully in His hands. I must lay down my staff, take His hand and walk upright like a man. It hurts, I cried to my DIL, she understands. She feels that maybe it is what I have to do to have anything with her again.
How long should i wait while she tells everyone she is single and sleeping around with someone else. She is proud of what she has done, MLC, Alholoic or whatever. I cannot keep enabling this and toturing myself by constantly focusing on her and when she will return.
After I posted and my private yahoos, her text about the taxes started, within 2 minutes. Ironic, no, I don't think so, other parties are at play. i am not leaving bitter or angry, I am just walking, quietly. She has not responded to my last text in which i told her, voluntarily turn your car in, you don't want to ruin my credit anymore than you did? what you have done to me, trust me, the pain u r putting me through and what I have been through. My credit is insignificant to what you did to me.
You say youre entitled to the money, wut about wut I was entitled to and wut I am entitled to? Yopu say your check paid for the groceries and our money for the weekends, lets remember how"our" weekends turned out, you with another man, yoeah, let me pay you back for that. I have filed, head of household, I have claimed D17 you have your W2's, go have your taxes done, I want none of that money for all the outstanding bills, my daughters lunch money, the food I pay for top feed her, the money i use to clothe her, I won't ask you for anything. You have nothing I need in my life. We are not We, you saw to that, you and you alone....fabricate what you want, but you have made me believe all my time with you was always a question mark, no exclamation points. Thats what you have done to me....Move on and leave me alone...
Harsh, hell yeah its harsh, but i have not shown her that hurt emotion nor have I discussed it with her. She walked, she cheated, no pain, no sorrow, no regret....The Lord has me walking through pastures, the image now has meaning to me. Who knows what the future holds. don't hate me for this. I feel bad enough, but I know you understand why I am doing this, because she knows I wait for her. and now, well now I don't really care what she thinks.
