Well, It's time to start a new thread.

I want to say that I value everyone and their advice that they offer. Without this place and everyone who devotes their time and guidance here, I would not be the person I am today. I never want to imagine it any other way.

I thank you, and I will continue to thank you in the only way that can come close. By helping others the way you have help me.

In order to come out of this whole and healed we all must change for the better and for good. I will never be the same now, nor do I have any desire to go back to who I once was. He is a distant memory that fades a little more each day. This doesn't mean I am finished. I will never be. I will never stop growing.

Everyone here is different, every situation is different, toss in the insanity of a spouse in crisis, well, you all know exactly what I'm talking about. We may not always agree and that is perfectly normal. It changes nothing as far as my friendships here go and it never will. We are in this together.

I love my wife with all my heart. I pray for her and my children daily. I will continue to stand and hold on to the faith I have. I have made many mistakes throughout all this. Since finding this place I have done my best to listen to the advice given, show my wife compassion, kindness and understanding.

I have done my best to allow this to mold me into a better person, taking the hard stare in the mirror and having to admit and accept EVERYTHING about myself. Stuff I did NOT want to look at first. It has been the most difficult thing for me to do. In order to get out of this shitt storm for the better this has to take place FIRST. Then comes the lessons in faith, patience, self control, self understanding, overcoming fear and acceptance just to name a few.

I have a way to go still. I can only pray that one day I will be given the gift of having the even tougher task of piecing my marriage back together with the woman I love. I have no idea where God is leading me, but I will continue to trust and follow faithfully.

These lessons will always be for me for life. Sure it is tempting to cut corners, sure you can use it to lure your spouse back but in the end you will lose your spouse again and quite frankly you won't lose yourself because you will have never truly found yourself to begin with.

There are times throughout this journey where you are put to the test as to what you have learned, how to use what you have learned and when to use what you have learned. You must become the changes and pass the test and no, the reward is not saving your marriage. You are not in control of that. The reward is a whole and healthy you. The absolute best gift you can give to yourself.

I am six months into a divorce that I am powerless in putting a halt to, however I feel as though I have never had more control over me at any point in my whole life.

I am at a crossroad, I am standing at the next door. On the other side of it awaits another test. All I can do is honor the changes in me that have taken place and press forward with faith, not fear. I am quite sure some of you know where I am in my journey. I'm also sure that others do not. The only thing I can say is that I am finding my way each and every day. I pray that all of you are finding yours. I will do my absolute best I can to help.

One last thing...

Thank you..... SERIOUSLY ;\) ( you do kick ass BTW) You came from out of nowhere picking me up when I was flat on my face and introduced me to another very special person. You both know who you are and I expect to see a YOUR WELCOME posted here from the both of you.

I'll NEVER forget it.

Don't stand still.