Yesterday, I started to feel a lot better...and A didn't even call me. Of course, I was back at work. I started visualizing beaches. I had a great time at dinner with my friend, too. Last night, my roommate and I watched the Celtics play the Lakers. That was fun, too. All-in-all, I had a positive, fun-filled day.
I started thinking a lot about risk taking (in a small way). I have also thought about being lighthearted and relaxed. I thought about combing the three--small risks, being lighthearted and relaxed--that is a good behavior modification for me towards A, huh?
Since I felt better and it's been almost three weeks, I txt'd A. "How R U? Busy transitioning back into my life. Thinking of u. Hope to talk to u soon." It was risky!! Thinking of U? Hope to talk to you soon???? Big risks for me to take now with him. BUT...I felt really relaxed about it!!!! No anxiety or doubt!!
He txt me back right away. He said he was on his way to Florida for the weekend and that we'll talk soon. Wow! I let his words be the last words. (felt good about that)
I like what you said about mirroring him. I'm going to ponder more about that.
So, feeling better.
WW is Tuesday 10AM eastern time. I have a back appointment on Tuesday at 2:00 pm.
I have to remember ... lighthearted ... lighthearted ... lighthearted.
Yes, keep up the "lighthearted" thinking! It will soon assimlate into your being!
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
By the way, I like your letter! You tweaked it to fit for your personality and relationship! I am glad you did.
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
JJ, Yea for your Tuesday plan - you are focusing and staying on track!
Not only is being lighthearted and relaxed good behavior modification, but it is recovering the fun and wonderful JJ that you really are. It is so great that you are putting your effort into that. I mean, into you!
Let me know how mirroring works for you. It is wonderful to hear the response you got from your initiation. It's possible that A has also felt he was taking a risk, as you have, when deciding to contact you. So, by initiating back in a balanced way, you may be encouraging him to feel safer/more confident to continue contacting you.
Yes, ponder that and let me know, OK?
Dear JoJo, as always, hugs back, Laurie
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Biggest hug to you!!! Thank you for your response. By the way, tell 'V' how much you are loved and appreciated. It is so obvious how much everyone loves you out here in DBing land. We love Laurie!!!
I love the whole mirroring project. I love the whole idea. It seems like a good next step. I feel really comfortable with it.
It's possible that A has also felt he was taking a risk, as you have, when deciding to contact you. So, by initiating back in a balanced way, you may be encouraging him to feel safer/more confident to continue contacting you.
I like 'pondering' this . . . balanced mirroring--lighthearated, and relaxed . . . It brings tears to my eyes knowing that I can still encourage A to feel safer and more confident, even from a distance.
Thank you for your answer. I just need you to know that my H's atty sent a modified Financial Affidavit to my atty on Monday, asking for a response by Friday. He has changed his yearly income to reflect a 33 percent decrease from last year. He's saying that because of lack of work, he's "paying himself out of vacation hours and other hours." I guess he's not dragging his feet after all. I can't DB with him if he never calls me, right?
No anxiety or doubt!!
