The Unfaithful Wife - That's Still Me #3

[25yearsmlc]

well

Hold on, now, what diff does it make if the separated spouse says they are not sleeping with OP, do you want to snoop and find out they are lying? Maybe, maybe not. If you were "normally married" I'd say by all means figure it all out. But you want to make the M work AND you are not "normally M" right now. If they say they are not sleeping with, at least it means they are not ready to say "Yes I'm having an A and love OP"....could be worse you know.

You know there are problems and you may or may not stay M....and since you are sep,...what the heck diff does it make right now? (Of course I'm not dealing with this, so I get that it's easy for me to just say this. )

My point is, however feebly expressed, that until if and when a recon is started, you're in a bit of a bind. You don't have any say in this, in a way. You already know you don't have "control;" everyone here knows that. But, since you are not M, in HIS eyes, and since he considers himself single, IT SEEMS...then why bother even thinking about it? Oh, b/c MAYBE he wants to sleep with you? And maybe that will lead to something else?

Then we're back to those "eventually obvious events" of him 1) wanting to be M to you (and acting like it), or 2) him moving on, or 3) him wanting it both ways. I mean, at some point one of these options will be self evident, unless it's the last option and YOU are in denial.

How about not going crazy until one of these things happens, and not obsessing about OW anyhow? For a week or a day, just not freaking out. And no way do I buy that the shirts know what's going on and said it's okay...no way.

"Best case" for his career scenario, is that he told them you are separated and therefore, none of this matters. The military does NOT make a distinction, and says you are either M or not, UNLESS there is a court order saying something to the contrary and granting specific rights to custody or support. Of course unofficially, who knows what he's being told or telling them? But officially, no way is he getting the go ahead...and regardless, he's probably being frowned upon b/c it's embarrassing to have an E-7 having any wacky personal family drama...

Honey you need to chillax some. I wish we could do the FB thing or email.

And there are peeps here on FB but I wish they'd let us send private messages and make this moot. Not everyone wants everyone to know their email or fb, but to have it be ALL or nothing is UNhelpful. I mean, I'd like to post to some people here but not all, and now we cannot even post private messages so we're sort of stuck. If we publish the email we get booted.

MODERATORS--can you help us out somehow? Can we contact YOU and ask you to make a contact for us? I'm at a loss as to how to support someone privately, if I can't post my email, but I respect the point about not making it totally public to all DBers...

(( j ))