John, you know you can't make her care. ((((hugs))))
I truly do believe she will regret it sooner or later. Have you checked out anyone else's threads? You might check over in Mid Life Crisis. Most everyone posts here, but after awhile, this one gets to be too much. Just too much going on, I think. Just a lot of people and it is hard when you are trying to find your bearings.
On the beach...
Anywhere near Point Clear, Alabama or Gulf Shores? I go down there once a year for a conference in January and I am almost willing to sell my soul to move to Point Clear. Almost.
What is going through her head? What was going through my head? Yes, there was OM, but mostly I just wanted to be alone. H was gone those six months while I took care of everything and he was over there. Working, yes. Getting shot at, yes. But also cooking for his buddies and sitting around bsing. I was envious of his adult conversations and friends he was with! I was stuck home with the kids except while I was at work. He got his buds around him 24/7. And I know it's work, but he loves his job, so it's almost not really work. And the cooking/BBQing thing was...his own deal that he did because he loved. So that is part of it. If you were having fun, or even seemed like it, and she was stuck, she is resentful. You got a mini-vacation from daily life stresses that most of will never get/experience. So even though you were in a combat zone, it still feels like you got a break from normal life and we didn't. We had to double up. There should be mandatory recognition, LOL!! Flowers on our desk every Monday and a letter in the mail telling us how much you love us and miss us and appreciate everything we are sacrificing every Friday! And not by email and not by phone! Spoken words are forgotten. Written words in your own hand always mean the most! Ah, if only women could rewrite the rules of tdy's and the world for that matter!
The market is pretty good right now. I've seen others talk about that book on here. Do you like it?
She will regret the chasm she is creating between her and your daughter. I guarantee it. She's too clouded right now to see it. It really is like being stuck in a fog, for the WAS. You can't see what everyone else needs because your own needs are consuming you. I felt like I had put my whole life aside so that I could do for everyone else. And no matter how much everyone else tried to give back to me, it was never enough because I was giving myself away so fast. My time, my energy, my emotions. I even rationalized that I was taking care of myself by taking care of them! That's not right. My A was the only place where I indulged myself. And he wasn't even that great. I don't mean the sex. The sex was par at best. I realize that everything I was doing with him (taking walks, spending time together) were things I wanted to be doing with my H!!! I wanted my H to want to do those things with me like OM did!
I know you miss her. We all miss our spouses. I think part of it is letdown too, because you were probably expecting a good homecoming and it turned to a pos. Do you have the standard two weeks off? At least it's only one more week before going back to work, then. Just know that we are all thinking about you.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
