Sorry I've not replied in a while LN...I wanted to sit down and really process your thoughts before responding, and life has been CRAZY BUSY.
I too think you might be overthinking the issue. Why bother? Why not? It's all a choice. Make it and move forward one way or the other. The fairy tale was overly simplistic to begin with, all butterflies and roses. Real love is a choice. A verb. So much more than a feeling. It's nice when the feelings are there...it's work when they're not. But I think it's worth it long-term to stick it out--like you said, the things really worth having are worth working hard for, being patient for.
I can't answer your deep questions for you...wish I could. I'm getting a sense of resignation and indifference in regards to your M from your recent posts, and while I completely understand your feeling that way, I think these feelings indicate that you're at a crossroads, and you are feeling the need to make a choice. Life *is* hard, it would be nice to see the end of the road before you choose it. But you can't, so you do the best you can. I know you're good where you're at, on your own, but it appears to me that you need to choose a direction and pursue it to find the passion you really want in your life. It'll likely require effort either way. So which way do you want to go?
