W IM'd D17 asking her if I got her text. she can't pay car ins becuasde she has top buy tires. Read her text asking me "when are you going to do the taxes, I need money to get my car fixed and if there is enough left, put some towards the car ins." Text her back and told her I am filing seperately, we do not exist, u need to file ur own taxes.
I have decided to no longer play this game. I have come to the realization that it is over and me going on with my life holding onto this joke of a relationship is doing nothing for me at any level. She can have her life and not have to ever worry about me any more. she won't have to worry if she ever wakes up whether or hnot there is a place for her. there isn't. I am sorry I wasted everyone's time here. the support here for me has been nothing short of phenomenal. I apprecaite everything, Michele the book was great, and I have recommended it to several people, won't lend my copy out, it has sentimenatal vaule to me.
anyway, I have finally kicked this to the curb. I am moving on. I would'v eloved to have her back, I would love for all of us to be a family again, but I need to face the cold hard facts. I believed it in her coming back so hard and wanted it so much, that everything else seemed non-existant. that will now change, she is non existant. I will do my taxes, apparently, she doesn't know she walked away from me and ended this marriage, oh well, big surprise to her I guess.
I will check back on all of you from time to time. ddday, buddy, I wish you all the best, wish both of our sitches worked out. 25year, be strong daling, you are one of my rocks and I love ya for it. amy FH, Tgone and the rest, god bless you all. The big plan right now is me, I have made my decision, I need to be a big boy and sit up at the big boy table now and get off the pot. No more tears no more hoping and wishing, its over its done. I realize now why We walk, its to get away from tyhis. I know the Lord is not partial to divorce or the rest of a marriage being torn up. I apologized to Him before typing this, I apologized to my father, my grandmother and all my kids pictures and even my grandbabies.
I am sorry for this, I didn't do it, sure I didn't help, but I am a doormat, I am an enabler, and I am no longer wanting to be any of that. I will find someone who likes being themselves, being normal and being with me. I will find someone I like being with and can be myself around. and who knows, maybe I will find love again. Not sure If I can, but with God's help, I will find away to fill my heart with someone. God bless you all on this site. Listen to the advice given, be strong and confident, find yourselves, because no one will do it for you. Until you know yourself and can love yourself, no one else can. best advice given to me.
I have found myslef, and after three days of reflection realized that I have changed alot, but I can not tatally change as long as I enable my wife's unfaithful and immoral life. I am her doormat no longer, because i no longer care. It's sad, but I have been reading other posts in other threads and have had time to really think this over. I knew it was only a matter of time before the reality of this would kick me in the crotch. It did, about 6:20 PM EST. I release her to her own.....
