and do you have hers? Let your lawyer ask for them.
I am glad you are not letting her bully you. You paid the mediator to look at both sides of the picture. Like Hill says it's easier not to deal directly with her. Wise advice..... I certainly blew that and let my x talk me into agreeing to things I shouldn't have. Stay strong! Stay sane! Keep in touch!
Well, I'm home again today with S10 who is sick. I stayed home with him yesterday as well, and dropped him off at the STBXW's house at 7AM on my way to work this morning. She works at home on Wednesdays. Five minutes away from work, she calls and says S10 still doesn't feel well and "According to the parenting plan, you need to take 2 days for every one I take with the kids when they're sick because you get 15 sick days a year and I only get 5". I asked why he couldn't just stay on the couch and watch TV while she "worked". She reminded me this was a "Work Day for her, and that she had a lot to accomplish"! What a bit&h! I said "Forget it. I got it!" and went back to pick up S10. What a great mother!
He told me that he wanted a cup of Raman Noodles, and was told by STBX on the way out "If you want that, your father will have to provide that at his house". THAT'S JUST HOW SHE TALKS. Like an automoton!
ENOUGH! I called her and asked her if she realized how ridiculous she sounded. She tried to take me on a birdwalk about me not wanting to "stay home with a sick child". I just went right back at her. She is out of her mind. The kids think she is nuts! My son thought she was so ridiculous!
She is just doing this sort of stuff because she has lost all control over me, and I believe is jealous in a weird, sick, twisted, perverted way that I am very happy with Gym woman, and she is still miserable about her entire life, including her relationship with a guy who is still married, wearing a wedding ring and living with his wife. Divorce made NOTHING better for her, and now I couldn't be happier that I'm getting rid of her. (If you read my threads in the early days, this is a totally different FLTC talking!)
The kids told me that she and he had a fight last week (Go figure?) and she has been in a bad mood since then! It was only a matter of time before she showed her "true controlling, be right at any cost" to this schmuck!
That poor little boy. Could you imagine being on the no-control end of that stick, listening to your mother say essentially that she didn't want him around? He's only 10 - even if she laid on the whole "this is your father's responsibility and he has to step up yadadada...," he probably felt so bad to be such a bother to her. Couldn't even nuke some water for soup?
F, please tell me you are on your way to finding a bigger place for all of you...sounds like the kids are going to need it!
Hi there FL, I hadn't been by to see you in a while and wanted to check up on you.
All we have is our own experience to share. I feel for you right now and am glad I'm not where you are right now. The way I see it, your predicament is different because she has legal counsel that most of us do not have. But in the end, she has to live by the rules too. So please remember that.
So here's my story...
...I looked at what I paid my L one day. It was a massive expense to me and if we fought, that would probably triple or more. She'd done nothing really except pad the books and I'd paid her by that time around $7,500. If you double that for the X, L's made $15,000 from our D without any trial. The way I was it, that was something I could have put away for the kids.
So I called my X and told him. Listen STBX, let's get this done. If we don't we will have nothing left from this marriage that we both worked our butts off for. Would it be fair to our kids to squander everything? I propose that we do XXXXX. He understood that half of nothing is nothing, so he told me he would think about it. He called me back, and made a counter offer. I called him back, and made a counter-counter offer. We settled. Of course our L's were mad because they expected to benefit more from our lives. That's what it boils down to. Do we cut our losses or give everything to the lawyers?
Now I don't know if your X would be reasonable. From what you've written, she may not be. But I will tell you this. I was willing to fight if he forced me to. I was at that moment unwilling to be screwed any longer and I would not give it to him. I was at a point where I was unwilling to lie down and allow him to do whatever he wished. He knew that. But I gave him one chance to be reasonable and he was. I know that he knew that FL. So we negotiated what was fair.
The legal bills made us both step back and look at what we were doing.
As far as all the crap of giving the court every inch of our lives goes, I did that and my X did not. It was time consuming for me, and it never really mattered for him because the courts don't really care. They are there to generate money for the lawyers. My take. You could put on those statements that you need $5,000 a month to feed your cat and they don't care, the more crap there is, the more money they made. So don't bite.
I am so happy to hear about gym woman's awesomeness!!! You go.
Sorry to hear your munchkin is sick. That's a nasty bug that's going around.
Make no assumptions with your spouse. Call ahead and let her know the situation. She can agree or disagree and your child doesn't get stuck in the middle.
Anything you say to her will NOT be heard. Repeat that constantly. Getting in verbal warfare does nothing but fuel meanness and hatred. Nothing you say to her will be heard. In fact, the LESS you say the more she'll notice. You know how hard it is for people to stay quiet when there's silence? Extremely. Be the quiet one.
Hi FLTC. Hope your son is better by now. When I first read your note about the sick days I read it as if your wife was dictating how many days the kids could be sick. LOL. One good thing about keeping up with your thread.....my ex is like a saint in comparison to your STBXW!
When I once described my STBX to a an Army physician, during the time I was worried about my previous actions keeping me from deploying, he referred to as "a psycho bit&h from hel*"
I went to pick up D18 at college yesterday, and D16 stayed at my apartment. STBX texted D16 and asked where her Jeep was, becuase she wanted to drive by where it was parked. The reason was she wanted to make sure I wasn't driving it to get D18 at school. How's that for "Normal"?
