I've been noticing lately how the W is really enjoying life. She sings in the car/house, exercises (treadmill in the basement). I don't know if this is a show for me or if she is just moving on with her life. Still casual conversation between us. She is fine as long as I'm distant. She seems so determined to live a new life sans me... I'm keeping my distance, no pressure of any kind. I know, by noticing, i'm too focused on her and not myself. Right ?
ral819- not to despress u and I cant remember if u suspect this....but is there an OM???.....there is alot of endorphins going during the beginning of an affair and I think they do feel good..and yes you are in the way...do she is fine if you are distant...u are not on the radar...its so hard but keep detaching....they say most affairs burn out 6 months to 18 months...interferance from us make them be prolonged...like it seals them like glue if we focus on the other person to them becuase they have to defend their actions..
As long as you don't dwell on her , I think it is ok, unless it makes you sad, depressed, or takes away from what you need to do for yourself and your kids.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Does she know what she wants, if she is like most mlc'ers she has no idea, please don't help her along. Now you are focusing on her, no, no, no.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Can you read her mind, you will drive yourself nuts. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you are better than that.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Thanks, I appreciate that. I just don't want someone to be stuck in something they don't want. I am hopeful, and have been trying to change me, but my W has always been a very logical person. Once her mind is set, that's it...
Ral, working on you is all you can do when your spouse is in mlc, remember she really does not know what she wants. That is why you cannot believe all that she says. Hey my wife , before this, was the most logical person I had ever met. Someday when she comes out of this, if she ever does, she will be blown away at some of the stuff she said and did.That is why this is a crisis.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Hey Ral, if she really knows what she wants, she can get out. You don't have her tied up, or anything. (Right?) The face that you don't pave the way doesn't mean your are forcing anything on her.
