Just be careful confused, I did the same thing your are doing when I first heard the Bomb. It seems you are trying to be the perfect H. Don't go over board. I would stop initiating all hugs and kisses. My XW has stated that it drove her nuts when I completely switched into panic mode and was kissing her a$$ for months. She sais it actually drove her further away!
The perception that we are trying to get across to them is: 1. We can change for the better. 2. We can strive with or without them. 3. We want to change to better ourselves not just to save our M.
They already now we love them, otherwise we wouldn't try so hard. My XW struggles with #3. She still isn't sure why I have made the changes. She still knows that I am in desperation mode to reconcile my M. Which is certainly true, but I truely do want to change. I have identified my faults. The funny thing is my XW has told me "she knows I will never make the same mistakes again." In a way this confuses me, I say to myself, then why aren't you willing to try. I believe in part that she is truely having fun living like a 21 year old party girl, and she loves the attention she is getting. She was married at 20 and most of her friends lived the party life sytle, so she is trying to make up for lost times. But I know her better than anyone. She will get sick of that life soon.
Keep the faith!! One Goal! Thanks CZ me: 34 XW: 29 D: 5 T: 13 M:9 Dday: Sep 18, 08 joint legal and physical custody of child XW recently told me, she d me, cause she tought I would abandoned her!
