Still counting the positives and working on staying away from thoughts of how the heck will this ever come together and be real again. The trail is long.
H was gone volunteering at the State Winter Olympic games. He sent me a txt late saying he was still 2 hours from home. It was so odd to hear from him about what time he would get home. I replied ok thanks. The next morning H vented about how the guys he was riding with had to stay at the party, stop at the rest stop, stop to eat, stop to shop, it took them 4 hours to drive less than 100 miles. I laughed and said it sounded like he was with a bunch of women!
My weekend was full of GAL, networking, selling, trading, riding lessons, introduced H to some people that has potential for some business, and I didn't even blow at the mention of ow from people. (breaking my arm patting myself on the back)
I am finding more and more that people don't have cash to spend but most everyone is open to trade or barter for something. Works for me too!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I crashed and went to bed early last night. I figured why not? My body had aches everywhere. H is on his ski shift, I can go to bed early and not get 'caught'. Wouldn't ya know that H comes early! He came to the bedroom and asked 'you alright?' and tickled my foot I had poked out from under the covers. H said skiing was cut short by the rain.
We traded phone messages that I had received for him, talked a little.
H has also started taking humorous jabs at me again, and included me in some funny emails, and one that included some of his work schedule info so we can set up a meeting.
Yet we are still living under the dark cloud of cc debt and finances.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Oh please, stop drowning me with all your responses!
H and I were conversing about weekends plans and appts, then I used the opportunity to say 'looks like we have some open time and you can take me out for Valentines Day!' H's response - 'I don't know what that is' My reply - 'I don't either'
I've gotten nothing from H for years. I've learned not to rely on him to share my love with on this 'day of love'. Instead I mailed off the photo album and gifts to grandkids and greatnieces and greatnephew. I am spending time on Friday with my mom again. While H ignores VD I have each year gave him a cutsie or funny card not applying pressure. Before I realized what was going on I had given him one of those chocolate ILUVU things. He still has it.
Is it time to change what I do? Do I show H what Valentines Day is? Is my H ready? I haven't told H ILY for years, I am afraid to say it. I am afraid to show it. I am afraid to feel it. It's hard not to be numb after all this time. It's just as hard not to push the fast forward button while H might still be on pause or rewind. Ugh. I think it is time...
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
I think a better response would have been something like "well I think we both need to re-familiarize ourselves with this holiday of love, baby!"
Originally Posted By: WCW
I haven't told H ILY for years, I am afraid to say it. I am afraid to show it. I am afraid to feel it. It's hard not to be numb after all this time. It's just as hard not to push the fast forward button while H might still be on pause or rewind. Ugh. I think it is time...
Time to face your fears, me thinks.
(((WCW)))
Me 54 DS19 and DS17 Married 06/1989 Divorced 01/2011
If fear is holding you back ... ? Well, you know what I mean.
Something to think about: Courage is fear that has said its prayers. Dorothy Bernard
Courage, girl, courage. ((((((WCW)))))))
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I picked the first card from the rack, I thought 'perfect', and bought it.
My husband, I love you. I've told you so many times before, but Valentine's Day seems like a good time to tell you just how much you mean to me... I love you even on days when the sun doesn't shine and our nerves are on edge... when it's easy and when it takes all the patience in the world. I still love you, no matter what. Of all the people in the world, you're the only one I'd wnat to spend forever with.
I also bought one that says "when I see you my tail starts waggin'" and will give him that one from Dog, Dog, and WCW.
H has put his armour of steel on again as this day approaches. It makes me retreat and tension has been thick for a few days. I'm forging thru it this time, and will give my love. I don't expect anything or any reaction from H except that I hope he does't stomp on my heart to hard.
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Feeling much better, WCW, thanks. Getting my stitches out today. Still no results from the biopsy.
Hope things go well on VDay!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
