Counseling or Divorce

[Bridgestone]

OK.. then it will be advice first & support &understanding as you progress, for whatever decision you make.

My advice would be as your Doc said.. get your financials set first. One can not be separated without providing for oneself and partially for your kids. Get a GOOD handle on a realistic picture of what it costs to be on your own... car payments, insurance, title, clothing, haircuts, food, cable, internet, cell phones, kids lunches, spending $, dog food & vet bills, etc etc.

I have provided a list, and I believe you have access to it in other places, of various ways to manage $$ over time in order to provide a cushion if you choose to walk .

All this will take time... you will need lots of patience & some blackberry merlot.

He is not physically abusing you.. I will agree the circles of chasing by diverting, defending, stonewalling, etc are verbally abusive... but one can avoid that for months, we've both been there, done that.

It won't be a cake walk to put up with things that way, but you are a strong person & there is an end point. Either he get into counseling to move towards a more healthy R. or YOU are moving towards a place where you are able to separate. That is the boundary I heard you put into place, correct?

If he gets verbally abusive, just go for a drive, lock yourself in the bathroom, text a friend & have them call you, etc. You can remove yourself from the situation. You can ignore him.. he's like a big bully on the playground.. what advice would you give your kids for how to handle something like that?

There's a start for my advice & support.
You can do this... whatever you decide 'this' is.

hugs
Bridge