fb2, he would say that he has tried to be a good husband, father, and provider. He would say that he has worked very hard our entire marriage to make me happy. He has provided well for us, so that I could stay home & raise our children. He'd say that I'm a fabulous mom. I think he'd say I had been a great wife, up until 3 years ago.
He would agree that I had asked him for years to go to marriage counseling, & that he said we didn't need it. He would tell you that for most of the marriage, sex was for his pleasure.
He would agree that he worked, & I took care of the kids. That was our unspoken arrangement. He would confirm that I asked him for help around the house & with the kids & that he refused, most of the time, saying he was too tired.
As far as the abuse, I don't know what he would say now. He admitted it once, then said later it wasn't that bad.
He might say that I have a lot of baggage from childhood. That I am never satisfied, & constantly searching for something, & he doesn't know what that is, & he's afraid that it's not him. He told me for years that he thought I hated sex, & that it was because of my abuse. He found out later, & admits now that I am a very sensual woman when treated right.
He thinks I spend too much money on non-necessities, & that I should be better with the budget. I think he should be happy that in this economy & with him out of work for 7 months, & 4 kids, we have zero credit card debt & both of our cars are paid for. He would take credit for that, saying that it was his penny pinching over the years that we have savings. I'd say it was partly that, & partly the way I managed our budget, & partly the fact that we pulled the equity out of our home a month before he lost his job.
He'd say I'm too lenient with the kids, & that I let them get away with too much.
But, in the next breath, he'd say they're great kids, & I've done a wonderful job.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've made a lot of wrong choices. I'm trying to change that. I'm trying to set a better example for our kids.
I can't be okay with some of his choices from the past 3-4 years.
M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months 4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10 I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
