H just moved out, 13 months post-bomb

[25yearsmlc]

PS

At one point, when my h went on his third crazy secret trip to the tundra, I realized he was not thinking or acting like a married man who was "normal" although functioning fine at work...this was sooo crazy. I filed for a separation to protect our assets and in my opinion, can't "prove this" but I feel strongly that he'd have mortgaged our house at one point. He was so sure that there were riches to be had if we only invested enough money and thank GOD I filed and he couldn't do that. As it is, we lost a fortune in lost income and some savings....too much for me to contemplate without getting really bummed.

But we still have our house (and a rental my mother lives in as well, and again, thank GOD I protected US) and it's because I took some action when I realized he'd throw it away b/c he believed he was doing something he could justify.
His "hero" up there may as well have been an OW b/c he was "selling" h so much crap and making him come up there and buying into a practice that h had previously said he would "NEVER DO IN A MILLION YEARS" b/c h's specialty pays well and no one else asks them to buy in, they just want to hire h and his ilk. But when it came to the heroes in Alaska, h was just.....for lack of a better phrase, irrational and unreachable. I am a L and I can persuade people pretty well. I also do theater, and my point is that I can COMMUNICATE -- but I could not reach my h. Period. Not then.

I'm really glad I had a good c and DB and they both agreed that I needed to do something to protect us, and at least then if it ended, the kids and I wouldn't be totally screwed and you know, I was also protecting h from himself. He has not said he's glad I filed (NO, and he probably won't, ) but he has said he's glad "we" didn't spend any more time or money there...

Change the account. Hide some assets if you must but for God's sake, see a L asap. Yes, pay for a half hour consult and know that many of the L's don't even charge you for the first visit. Know your rights.
good luck,
(( j ))