I've been following your story with interest, especially since it very closely mirrors my own (about the same age, same circumstances, no kids, etc.) My main question: how do you still have the strength to keep fighting? I love my wife more than anything, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her. But every day that she is in the EA and not showing any willingness to make things right is another day where I experience pain that I don't deserve. Every time I bring myself to the brink of filing for D and moving out, she starts to wonder if she is making a huge mistake or not (the answer is yes). Each time this happens, I have taken the bait, hoping again that there is some path to reconciliation.
Unfortunately, I think I've reached the point where even if things magically turned around (which is an incredibly tall order), I'm not sure I even WANT this anymore. After this kind of betrayal, why should I even want to be with this person anymore? How can I trust her? Things were great, and things could have been great in the future, but she was willing to throw that away. I deserve more than that, even though it's a path I never wanted to take.
I'm going off topic a bit, but I guess my main point is that I'm curious why you are still fighting. Every day, I go back and forth between fighting through it and giving up... today was a giving up day, and in a sense, it was a relieving feeling.
