The tree is an interesting analogy. Good job JD. Keep up the strength. She is getting to see that you don't need her. Like you said, you want her, but you don't need her. Good deal.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
JD I like the spot you're in - your attitude. I'm heading there myself and wish I was where you already are. But I'm getting there. And thanks for all your help on my thread.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
Phoo, a good day today, just a blip of a bad moment.
D8 told me that she was snuggling in W's bed last night, and W was telling her BFF on the phone how when she says "Mmm-hmm" the OM goes really loud, "MMMMMMMMM-HMMMMMM". D8 said W thought it was funny...
I just kind of sat there for a minute, and was like, "Is this third grade?" Is this the kind of thing that passes for "love" now? Am I wrong in thinking that it's laughably shallow?
Then, luckily, about 30 seconds later, I realized I didn't really care - and if that's the relationship W has with OM, it's really sort of pathetic!
I did find out too that W has OM over on Wed nights, but doesn't go on dates - although theoretically they could date between 11pm and 7am on the weekends.
I had to think back and realized W is REALLY struggling in her schooling, and Wed nights are one of her biggest study nights - well, DUH! Now, D8 tells me that OM and W are taking their collective kids to Magic Mountain tomorrow night - yet W was crying to me last night about how she was failing her practice exam.
And to think, I actually felt a little sorry for her. Well, stupid me!
In other news, I think W may be coming off her midlife crisis a bit. D8 said she dyed her hair back to it's normal color, and got it trimmed up so she can grow it out.
ALL:
Don't worry - my attitude is still good. I'm amazed at my strength - it did bother me a little to hear D8 tell that story, but then I realized how stupid it was, and I just laughed at myself. It would have bent me all out of shape before! The best thing too is that D8 wanted to talk to me - I didn't ask HER for any news!
Sounds like a good day overall. You're right, it does sound shallow and too bad for W if that's what she is looking for. And doubly good for you to not have shown her sympathy last night for failing in school when she is choosing to not study! Grr.
D8 wanting to talk to you shows how you're being a great dad. That's important to hold onto!
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
Its still all a fantasy for your W. Pretty soon it will all come crashing down and she will have to make some choices regarding her time. Of course she doesn't want you to know she is with OM, but yet wants sympathy for her studies.
Just keep on!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
W sent me funny pictures of the hats she made for the kids for Funny Hat Day at school - she took a snow boot and unlaced it and put the foot part on D8's head, then tied it on with a green sash. Then she took one of those square nylon lunch boxes and put it upside down on S6's head. That literally made me ache - that is the "old W" that is funny and spontaneous, and goofy, and fun.
I obviously ignored.
The kids had apparently told her that my family was coming up to visit over their spring break - so she texted me and said that she was only going to have me watch kids while she was in school.
So, I took the opportunity to send her this email: ------------------------------------------------------------ W, First off, let me say that I will ALWAYS watch the kids, no questions asked, if at all possible - even if I have to re-arrange my schedule; I love hanging out with them! As far as spring break, family is coming up to visit, so I will want to have them for a full day or two, but am OK with you having all the rest of the extra time.
However, I was sort of concerned when I got your text. I thought that we would have the dissolution completely finalized, signed, and be divorced by March 30th. It appears that you don't think anything will have changed by then.
I want everything to be completed by March 30th - I want to begin restoring honor to my new family as soon as possible.
To make sure that happens, I will need to have the dissolution papers by this Friday, February 13th. It has been a month since you told me you were starting on the dissolution.
Once we figure out how the kid's schedule is going to change after the dissolution, we can talk specifically about how we will share them over spring break if we need to make changes.
I'm not messing around anymore - she's going to make her choice, and make it permanently. Although it doesn't make me feel great, if she choose OM, my "going dark" will be come permanent.
I just realize time and time again that even when she's "nice", she is disrespecting and dishonoring her husband, herself, and her children - not to mention another full family. (hence my statement about restoring honor).
Whew, it made my gut twist to send that - because she could very well turn around and give me the papers, and stop being "nice" - but that's what I've been preparing for!
{{Tawnya}} I have a TON of cleaning and work to do today and tomorrow, and I'm going to rent a couple new movies. Haven't watched anything in a long time.
Also, might be going to play pool Thursday night if I can get everything done tomorrow!
