\My wife is going to leave me in 5 days--help!

[AFWAW]

Melissa,
There has to be a reason for the no contact order. Do you see a reason? As far as adultry is concerned, you have already admitted to him that you have had an affair. Does that mean that it is right for him to shack up? Certainly not, but it is difficult to prove unless he admits it or you have proof--i.e.--a videotape. Unfortunately with the privatization of base housing(I'm assuming this is the case), certain rules that applied in the past cannot necessarily be applied here. Meaning he is technically paying rent(BAH)and can have a guest in the house if he chooses too. Now if the housing is not privatized yet then yes you could call the housing office as there are certain rules that apply to include the number of days a member can remain in housing if the family does not live there anymore. Of course, his unit could put in a waiver too. So, there are many variables it sounds like. I understand your frustrations though.

It says that you are separated. Are you still living in the same house? Additionally, since he is the military member and you have admitted an affair to him and you said other things have happened that have not put you in a positive light w/ his unit then they will probably remain loyal to him as long as he is not breaking any laws. As long as you are still married though, by law he has to provide for you and your children.

H says his chain of command, including 1st shirt has no problem with this???--So are you telling me that with everything that has happened you are taking his word on this? I personally don't know any command that would sign off on that or endorse such action. Sounds like he's feeding you a line of bull. I would call the housing office first--if it is privatized then he can have anybody he wants stay there as it is just like renting downtown. If it is not, you could then inform them that he is living there w/o his family and ask how long is allowed to stay there. Only then would I call his command but I would do so carefully and businesslike as you yourself have already mentioned indecressions on your part. As far as the IG is concerned, I don't think they will help when it comes to these type of situations.
Probably not what you wanted to hear--sorry.

As far as I am concerned, I know I have a lot to change about myself. I didn't really realize till yesterday that I have never been happy being just me. I have never really felt important about anything. I am very lonely right now and while I wish my wife would come home, I cannot force her to. I spent most of the afternoon yesterday just walking around my house shaking my head and reflecting on all we built together and how much it hurts. I don't know why God is putting me through this but I can only hope that it is for the better. Some positives that have come out so far:

I am closer to my SS more than ever
I have realized that I have not put the effort into important things in my life--mainly my marraige and family
I have no self-worth and need to get some really quick or this is going to be a really long recovery time for me

I just wish I could have done these things sooner. I told my wife last night that regardless of what the outcome is I will always love her and she said she will always love me too. After 7 months away from home this is not what I expected. My heart is broken and I am at loss right now...