What I meant was, when your wife hears about you and D out having fun, she is doing to feel left out.
OK. I will let OM stuff go. I know it gets hard when many people say the spouse is having an A. Especially if you feel certain. That is me to an extent, too.
Okay. No contact orders. Quick recap. You know most of my stitch, I think. H has OW living with him who he claims is NOT PA, although it is EA, he doesn't recognize EA as an A. He is TSGT. She is SSGT. This arrangement was only supposed to be for 2 weeks before she went to Iraq (she moved in with him Halloween). Her orders got cancelled for medical and she is still living there as of now, cause she put in to cross train and she didn't like what they gave her so she is getting forced out (yes, I think it's funny). so she is not staying there to July. H says his chain of command, including 1st shirt has no problem with this (I don't think they know he took her home for Christmas and they slept in the same bed but her under the sheets and him in a sleeping bag on the bed or something. ) I don't want him to lose his career but want her out of the house. It's selfish (for me) so I am not sure I am going to do this. she is paying no rent. thought about anonymous call to housing to report that she is living there. thought about anonymous call to IG to report same. thought about trying to contact the shirt (who doesn't like me because of the whole stitch) and let her know i was going to report HER to IG if she didn't fix the stitch. And then, really, would they enforce a no-contact order on something like this? 25mlc seems to think so and she is a L, but not mine, but other forums have said no, they will not enforce it because of my actions.
Opinions/rules/suggestions? Thank you.
And of course your marriage will be different? Did either of you really want the same old marriage anyway? The point is that she wants a marriage where she will do less and you will do more. You want a marriage where you are both "right" with each other. (It's what I want for myself, too.) In the end, everyone has to be willing to re-up with better intentions and goals than they had the first time. (Just me). You did good being patient, just saying you were there if she wanted to talk about it.) Really. I wish I had your resolve.
Good luck and I will be thinking about you.
Melissa
"Standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst."
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